You don't find trouble here, it finds you
by Oh look it's that guy again
Summary: Three OCs are dumped into Gensokyo. The reason? Two of them are friends to the final one, a prodigy inventor in the year 2025, who began experimenting with human-safe portals. Gensokyo's resident gap specialist takes offense to this. Contains many Sonic references, now half-explained. Rated T for paranoia, and R&R please, this is my first story.
1. Chapter 1: Thinking with portals

**This is my first fanfic, and my first piece of writing EVER that wasn't for school.**

**Also, some of the ideas used here will be recognizable from other stories.**

**Mostly the basic concept, though...**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Thinking with portals  
**

Uh...

Hi.

...Dammit, I always have trouble finding out how to begin explaining things.

Well, first, it'd probably be best to introduce myself.

I'm Ray, short for Randal. 22, male, and currently in what could turn out to be mortal peril.

...I was right, I'm hopeless at this.

Let's just start from the beginning.

_**A few hours earlier...  
**_

"Are you sure this'll work? I'd prefer to not risk detatching body parts this time."

"Calm down, I've fixed it. If it fails, it will only FRY you, no exploding."

We were with my close friend, Luke, in his garage and current laboratory. Why do I say current?

Long story short, lab accidents, as it turns out, are also fatal to the lab itself.

Now, luke was pretty much your typical nerd. Blond hair, a bit scrawny, but pretty damn smart. But unlike most, he was actually breaking scientific ground...

At least that's what he told us.

Anyway, he had called us there to show us a new invention of his. It was supposed to open short-distance portals through space.

This thing is every reason for us being in his garage, so we were, naturally, a little skeptical.

"Fine, fine... But at least call it something we can SAY. I'll strangle someone if I have to memorize anything over 20 letters."

"Don't worry, bonehead, it's just called the portal device now."

The other guy is a different friend. We call him "bonehead" most of the time, despite his real name being Bowen.

He's dyed his hair red, and has it in dreadlocks constantly. He's kind of spiritual, but also a little gullible, and as most strong men are, arrogant.

I'll bet you can guess what he thinks with. Here's a hint; it's not his head.

"Where did you say this portal was supposed to open?"

"Behind the garage. We already know it works without anything in the way, I wanted to try teleporting through a wall this time.

Now, the portal will only be able to be sustained for a few seconds. Once it opens, we have to run for it, and if we don't pass through, we'll know it failed."

"Running straight through a hole ripped in the very fabric of space without questioning its safety at all. SOLID PLAN."

"It isn't good, but it's what we have."

This was shaping up to be a pretty normal experience, knowing Luke.

In a few minutes, the machine was primed and ready to drill a hole through the very thing keeping this universe from tearing us to shreds.

The roaring of the machines was deafening, but we somehow managed to hear through it.

...Eh, sort of.

"I'VE SET IT TO OPEN THE PORTAL IN 20 SECONDS!"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, I'VE SET IT TO OPEN THE PORTAL IN 20 SECONDS! IT'S GONNA BE 10 BY NOW!"

"ALRIGHT, GOT IT!"

...

This was it. We were about to make history.

"3...

2...

1...

IT'S OPEN! GO FOR IT!"

Now that I look back on the experience, the portal looked slightly... off.

A bit darker, and slightly more... How do I say this... Tattered?

It had loose ends all over it.

Disregarding the slight change in appearance, we all jumped through at once.

Unfortunately, yet obviously, I did NOT end up behind the garage.

Instead, I wound up face-down, on the grass, in what looked like some random field.

I didn't recognize it. This was NOT good. I could recognize every single clearing within 10 miles of where I live from any angle, I had run through them so much...

I got up, completely dumbfounded as to what just happened.

It didn't feel anything like the machine normally did.

"Alright, we tried your machine. Are you satisfied now, Luke?"

No response.

"...Luke?"

No response, again.

_That son of a bitch, his machine broke again._

I panicked a little, and thought about what to do, and after an intense session of self-debate, I decided to look for help.

I immediately set off in the direction of a nearby forest in hopes of survival.

After a little bit of walking, I found a small clearing, filled with...

Fairies?

Yes, fairies. Or something of the like. Small, humanoid, complete with wings and a voice of uncomfortably high pitch.

"Excuse me, but... Uh... Could you...?"

They had all stopped what they were doing, instead opting to stare at me.

It was a bit unnerving, but I managed to complete my thought, at least.

"Point me in the direction of a town, or something?.."

They were apparently not as nice as media would lead you to think.

Within seconds, I was being chased by a psychotic group of flying miniature girls shooting what appeared to be magic bullets.

Luckily, being the best sprinter on multiple track & field teams, I managed to get far ahead enough to dive behind a tree as they passed by.

By now, I had learned to completely disregard logic as I knew it.

I began to move a bit faster, this time being mindful of the locals, and eventually came upon a path, with a set of stairs in one direction and a few branches lining the other.

_Uphill means a better view. Maybe, if there isn't a building at the top, I could find a town from there._

Upon reaching the top, I saw a small, Japanese-looking structure with a giant red-painted wooden arch in front of it.

"Hello? I'm a bit lost, is anyone here?"

I was greeted by a girl, wearing an oversized red bow on her head, a short dress, also red, and white detached sleeves. Those damn things still confuse me.

"What do you want?" ...She was a little rude, but you could tell she had good intent.

"...I said, I'm lost. Have you seen anyone else pass through here lately? Blond hair, about yey high, wearing jeans and a hoodie..."

Finding Luke was a priority. He wouldn't last two minutes wherever we are, but Bowen might.

"No, sorry."

"Oh... Alright."

"Hey, you aren't from around here, are you?"

"...You could say that."

"Mind telling me where you're from then?"

"...Sure. So, I was with some friends..."

He essentially retold this story with a few, minor differences. Use your imagination.

"So, here I am."

"You didn't run into anyone but a few fairies? No big fights?"

"No. Why?"

"Just asking."

The conversation was coming to a standstill.

"...Oh yeah, we haven't introduced ourselves yet. I'm Ray. And your name?" I hold out my hand.

This gesture obviously baffled miss big-bow, so I just labeled the awkwardness as a cultural difference.

"...I'm Reimu."

Awkward silence.

"Nice to meet you."

More silence.

"...Now, you said you were opening portals, right?"

"Yeah. My friend was quite the inventor."

"Did it look any different this time? The opening?"

"Now that you mention it, it was black and purple, as opposed to orange...

Not like we had time to think about that when we were testing it."

Reimu muttered something under her breath that I couldn't quite catch, then told me that I'd better get into the shrine, because it was turning dark out.

I just hoped my friends were doing as well as me.

* * *

**During the two-day waiting period for new users making stories, I tried to write another chapter. **

**It has yet to be more than two words long.**

**Also, I couldn't think of a title, so the title is what I was going to make the description.**


	2. Chapter 2: Reunion and danmaku training

**Hello again!**

**I apologize if it seems like I'm shitting these out too fast, I'm just writing in most if not all of my spare time.**

**Anyway, this one is significantly longer than the last chapter, should be a bit better written too.**

**EDIT: Your advice is appreciated. Please continue to be brutal, if you will. I told you, I only learn from being told what I did wrong.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Reunion and Danmaku Training**

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

"Fuck shit fuckity shitting FUCK I will strangle that kid..."

Bowen wasn't in a good mood, and he was making it KNOWN among...

...Still the middle of nowhere. Where else?

"I swear to god, if this is some rural area of france or some shit I'll just fucking EXPLODE."

He was lost. Lacking a sense of reason as keen as Ray's, bowen had simply decided to go west.

"If he dies before I can kill him, I'll kill the guy who killed him JUST TO BE FUCKING INVOLVED."

Bowen was getting nowhere at a moderate pace, so let's just ignore him awhile.

(If you're wondering why this bit wasn't in first person too, I'll only be doing that for when Ray's the focus.

And during fights. Just telling you so you don't get disconcerted or anything.)

* * *

**Back at the shrine...**

"...ugh..."

_My neck is KILLING me... What the hell was I sleeping on last night?_

_A wooden floor? ...Oh right, I'm in some kinda shrine or something..._

I slowly got off the floor, only half-aware of my surroundings...

...And Immediately scraped my shin on the only furnishing in the room.

_What luck, the ONLY thing in the shrine and I scrape my knee on it FIRST THING._

_Well, at least the shock woke me up._

Reimu didn't appear to be present, so I stretched for a couple seconds and decided to check outside.

"Hello? Reimu?"

She wasn't there either.

_Where is she?_

Quickly coming to my senses, I realized I'd be a fine pulp within seconds if I wandered too far, so I decided to go back inside.

"Great, I'm stuck in here..."

_Hold on, do I hear a voice?.._

Deciding to return outside to look for the source of the aforementioned voice, I made sure not to venture beyond the stone brick path in front of the shrine.

_It's getting louder... Must be getting close. Maybe if I listen for a bit..._

"...grumble grumble... Middle of nowhere... Grumble... Fucking Luke..."

_Hold on..._

"Bowen?"

"WHO'S THERE?!"

Bowen started looking around frantically.

"Bowen, it's me..."

I walked up from behind him and delivered a light tap on the shoulder...

...Which I immediately regretted.

Through my new face full of fist, I somehow managed to choke out the words "Bowen... Calm down..." as he slowly withdrew.

"Ray?"

"The very same. How're you doing?"

"Oh, I was a bit worried. I thought it had thrown us on different continents again."

"Still, I don't think we're in america anymore..."

"What do you mean?"

"Follow me, I'll explain once we get to shelter. Tell me, did you have any run-ins on your way here?.."

When we returned to the shrine, Reimu was back. She asked who Bowen was, they exchanged greetings, and we went inside.

That's when I realized I still didn't know where the hell we are.

"Hang on, you never told me. Just where are we?"

"Oh. Sorry. You're in Gensokyo. If you hadn't already guessed, a lot of things that outsiders have deemed fairy tales live here."

Bowen spoke up for the first time since we arrived.

"So, can you show us how to get out? I want to get back to my regular life as fast as possible, lady."

"First of all, my name's Reimu."

Bowen felt quick remorse to his snappy remark in the form of a wooden stick, which I now know is called a gohei, to the forehead.

"Secondly, there IS one problem. There's only one person who can get you out, and they're probably the only reason you're here in the first place..."

"What if I just beat them into doing it?"

"Bowen, no. Violence is not always the answer."

"Actually, she might let you out, or at least tell you why she brought you here if you beat her in a danmaku duel."

"A dan-whatnow?"

"Danmaku duel. It's fight in which the main form of attack is nonlethal energy bullets, called danmaku."

"Any violence sounds good to me! ...So, how do we use danmaku?"

"The first thing you should do is find your energy core. As the name suggests, it's essentially where all your spiritual energy is stored, produced, and transported from."

"So, do I just have to like, meditate or something?"

This was getting exciting.

"Yeah, I guess."

Bowen piped up again; "Is it possible to just cover a limb in it to punch harder?"

_Oh, bonehead, always with the punching..._

Reimu did a quick double take before replying "Yes, but it's not exactly safe to fight against a ranged attack with your fis-"

"Safe my ass, it doesn't matter how much I get hit if the other guy'll be down in two hits!"

"If you say so..."

We went outside before starting our practice, so we didn't damage the shrine.

"Now, you two, before you start: Danmaku has to take a form. With some people, it's predetermined, for instance, my danmaku is sutras and amulets because I'm the shrine maiden here. But outsiders can usually pick it for themselves."

"Just think of what you want it to be as you summon it the first time. But be careful, once you get something, you're stuck with it. No take-backs."

Soon after hearing this, Bowen adopted the traditional meditation pose, and went into what looked like deep concentration.

_Hey, it looks like when he's praying..._

In a few seconds, his eyes flashed open as he got up and charged for a nearby tree as a huge firey mass enveloped his right arm.

As his fist connected with the tree, A huge, resounding CRACK could be heard as it snapped just below where he had hit.

Shortly after the fire dissipated, he made a quick thumbs-up with the fist he had used to punch and cheerfully exclaimed "Cool huh?"

"Fire... Not exactly a creative type, are you?" Reimu remarked.

"If I weren't against hitting a girl, your face would be next."

Ignoring the previous statement, Reimu then turned to me. "So, your turn."

"Okay..." I said with an air of nervousness.

I got down on into a position that would allow a running start, closed my eyes, and began to focus...

_..._

_..._

_...Thunder._

_A mass of blue and green thunder, surrounding different parts of my body, and shooting off of it in bolts and spheres._

_Pushing on command, flexing to my needs, and going where I command it on my body..._

_..._

_..._

_AH!_

I opened my eyes and made a tiny hop, flipping halfway over in the process, and bracing for impact...

...Of course, impact never happened.

What am I saying?

I didn't hit the ground?!

What...?

...I was hovering just above the ground, spinning in a giant orb of thunder, only touching the ground with my danmaku...

Then I let go.

I bolted off, rolling at ludicrous speeds, making a lap around the shrine before impacting the tree next to the one Bowen split in half, firmly uprooting it from the ground with impact force.

A split second after the impact, I left the ground ever-so-slightly, releasing lightning in random directions as I uncurled into a standing position, landing shortly thereafter.

"Well?"

"Dude, fucking AWESOME!"

"Is there some sort of originality gap with you two? You could have picked something other than a basic element."

"I know, but the more basic something is, the more easy it is to manipulate. I'd like to see you try making a full body, perfectly fitting shield out of your amulets."

"Fair enough."

"Anyway, your energy cores seem to be a little below-average. Nothing a little work can't fix."

Somehow, it was getting dark already.

"It's getting dark... Let's get inside."

Captain obvious to the rescue.

As we were walking in, something felt wrong.

A portal opened right below me, and I quickly fell through.

"Ray!"

As quickly as it had opened, it closed with me on the opposite side.

As I fell through the void of what appeared to be eyes and blackness, something occurred to me.

_This is the same portal as when we arrived..._

Yet again with the "quickly", I found myself at the top of a hill somewhere.

"You're doing quite nicely."

I turned around to see another woman, this time with blonde hair, a big, lavender, poofy dress (think "old western movie"), and a parasol of the same shade of purple.

"Who the hell are you?"

"That doesn't concern you yet."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Quick to jump to conclusions, aren't we?"

"Your portal was the same as the one in Luke's garage."

"And what makes you assume it was me?"

"Stop avoiding the question. Why. Bid. You. Bring. Me. Here?"

"You'll find out in due time."

"Alright, why did you bring me to this exact location then?"

"I wanted to present you with an opportunity."

This piqued my interest. "I'm listening..."

"You can get out of here safely... Alone. Leave it all behind like a bad dream. Never know why you're here."

"OR. You can go back there, letting you stay with your friends, and MAYBE get out alive. No guarantees."

"Is this supposed to be a choice or a one-way road? Of course I'm staying! I'd never leave my friends!"

"If you insist..."

A portal opened to my left.

"You can go there, and put yourself in potential danger. Just know that it was your decision, not mine..."

As I went through, she said something else with a little, smirkish smile.

"One last thing... Eggman does not approve."

_Darn, didn't think anybody here would get that one._

_Wait..._

"How long were you watch-"

The opening behind me disappeared abruptly, and a new one in front. The shrine again. The sun had just set, and some light was still lingering. I fast-walked back to where I guessed I'd be staying for a long time.

Crickets were beginning their nighttime concert, and I heard what I could only hope was wildlife in the bushes.

I rushed inside for fear of being torn to shreds, and explained what had happened to the now half-asleep Bowen and Reimu.

Reimu just sighed and said "Guess you'll be stuck here quite awhile then..."

Bowen was just releived I didn't abandon him.

* * *

**First of all, yes, that dialog with Yukari was specifically for the last line she said. And plot/character development, I guess... Heh.**

**Secondly, if you can't guess who Ray and Bowen are supposed to be based on yet then something's wrong with you.**

**So yeah. Review harshly, this is my first week of written work and the only time I gain from an experience is by crashing and burning if it's my first foray into said activity.**


	3. Chapter 3: Blunt insertion

**Hello again.**

**As always, advice is appreciated and make it as harsh as possible. Compliments are also nice, too.**

**...You know, through my life, I was always told I could really put voice into my writing. Unfortunately, it's a bit reflexive for me to do so, to the point that writing an essay is essentially hell on earth.**

**Well, at least I can entertain you precious readers!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Blunt insertion

"Alright you two, I'm not going to let you freeload anymore. I'm not letting you stay here tonight, so you'd better leave now... Before I kick you out, literally."

We've been living with Reimu for a bit less than a week now, and we had all mostly become used to each others' presence.

Unfortunately, as Reimu said, we ARE mooching off of her, and considering that she's already virtually broke we aren't exactly welcome anymore.

"Can we at least have some supplies?"

"Take a fishing rod, but figure the rest out yourself. I'm going COMPLETELY broke because of you two."

Bowen came over to me and began talking; "We might as well leave now, it's not like we took any of our stuff through the portal..."

"Good idea. We're burning daylight as we speak."

After one last failed attempt at begging Reimu to let us stay, mostly involving Bowen attempting to woo her, we were on our way.

"If we plan on living, we either have to become killer fishers or find some source of income at a nearby town."

"Why not both?"

"Because if we sell our fish just to buy another kind of food it'd just be wasting time."

"Do we even know where any towns are? Or for that matter, anything?"

"I thought I told YOU to ask for directions."

"I thought you said you were going to!"

"Stop blaming things on me if it was YOUR job to do them!"

"Stop blaming me for blaming things on you!"

"...This is one line away from degenerating into pointless babble."

"Agreed. Let's just shut up and carry on."

And so we did.

Due to what I guess is terrible luck, we wound up walking in one direction for an entire day without finding civilization, or, hell, even a body of water larger than my torso.

Yippee.

"Can we stop now? I'm tired."

"No, we don't have anywhere safe to sleep."

"Can't we just take shifts staying up?"

"What happened in any book people did that in?"

"They died..."

"Case in point."

After several more hours of complaints, I just decided to give him what he wanted.

"Alright, forget this, let's just find a tree and sleep under it."

"Sounds like a plan!"

Bowen must've used up the rest of his energy by saying that, because he then proceeded to collapse on the spot.

"*chuckle*...

Lightweights."

I, on the other hand, felt like I just had a caffeine injection, and sat under the tree several more hours.

_We're sitting ducks... Or in his case, laying. But still, easy targets..._

...

*rustle*

Fuckin' FINALLY. That was getting boring.

"Who's there?"

Probably not to answer my question, a little girl jumped out of a nearby bush, and straight in my direction.

You know, if she were bigger, it might have hurt when she tackled me.

Might.

"What's a little girl like you doing out here? You could be eaten by god-knows-what."

"I'm not a little girl, I AM god-knows what."

"Oh, VERY funny. Go home now, before you get your ass kicked."

She was wearing a black dress and had a red bow on top of her short blond hair.

_What's with all the weird headwear I've seen here?_

"I'm a youkai, and I'm here to eat you."

"Really? I'd think a youkai would be a bit more... imposing."

Her face reddened a bit as her expression changed.

"Grrr... I'll show you!"

"I'd like to see you try."

I quickly jumped into a battle-ready position as she fired a quick stream of bullets at me, literally grazing my head as they went by.

"My turn!"

I attempted to mimic her action, instead firing a stream of lightning bolts in her general direction.

As some of them hit, I learned just how useless my ranged danmaku is. This tiny thing isn't even FLINCHING.

"You're not very strong."

"I'd like to see you say that when my foot is through your face!"

Oh, wait...

Ugh, more bullets?

Can't you think of a strategy other than "shoot at enemy"?

Quickly achieving top speed thanks to some danmaku-powered boosting, I began to circle her, weaving through trees and her bullets alike, obviously frustrating her.

"Stop that! Hold still and fight fair!"

"The only rule I'm aware of is "win"." *smirk*

This is getting fun.

Soon, a glaring opening was made evident, and I seized the opportunity, jumping, flipping, and...

A perfectly executed aerial axe kick, boosted by danmaku!

"Ouch, stop it! Fight FAIR!"

"Make me."

A slight grunt interrupted our exchange.

"Ugh..."

Is that Bowen? Oh, for...

"Bowen? You're just now getting up?"

"Will both of you..."

Hold on, he's picking up the tree...

"Just SHUT THE FUCK UP..."

and surrounding it in fire...

"and LET ME SLEEP!"

OHH **SHIT**, HIT THE DECK!

I duck, just in time for Bowen to throw the mass of flame and wood, sending it flying over me and crashing straight into that damned kid, with titanic force by the looks of it.

"Well. That's another way to do it."

It then exploded, just for the sake of overkill.

She slowly picks herself out of the (now that I look at it, quite sizable) crater, only to once again, say...

"Owwww... No fair!"

"Quit going on about fairness and let me get some sleep, please."

"Fiiiine... But I'm going to get you someday!"

"Good luck with that, kid. I'll play with you some other time."

And with that, she flew off.

...Wait, how in the hell is she still flying after taking that kind of hit?

Like I care.

Now, let's... get... uh... Zzz...

* * *

**The implication here is that he fell asleep on the spot if you couldn't tell.**

**VALVE PUNS, HO!**

**Also, I had a really hard time finding out how to initiate the fight with Rumia. As always, criticize me, please.**

**Oh god, I'm starting to sound like a writing masochist...**

**Also, expect a few-day-longer wait period for the next chapter. I'll be too busy playing Mann vs Machine to write tomorrow, and the next day if it's good.**


	4. Chapter 4: Man versus Machine

**Alright, yeah, characters getting a bit sueish.**

**But remember: While Bowen might be sueish in strength, he's gullible, hotheaded, somewhat dumb, and can't use his danmaku at a range for crap.**

**Flawed enough to get away with danmaku-enhanced physical strength? I think so, but maybe you don't.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Man versus Machine

"Where did this crater come from?! Were we attacked last night?"

"You made that, bonehead..."

"I'd remember doing that!"

"You can't remember any specific number more than 100."

"As if that matters!"

"Y'know what? I'm just not arguing anymore."

"Good!"

We wandered in the same general direction as yesterday for several more hours. What I wouldn't give to find civilization right now...

"...Hold on. Ray. What's that over there?"

"What's what?"

THANK YOU GOD!

"I think I see some kinda hut or something over there."

Upon further inspection, I now see that what he's saying is true. There's something off in the distance, and it doesn't look natural.

"Bonehead... If we were traveling at anything less than 60 miles an hour, it'd take forever to get there."

"Well then."

"Bonehead... You're not implying..."

"And if I am?"

"FUCKING YES!"

"Grab my arms, and if you manage to hold on the entire time, I'll have us there by last week!"

I put my arms behind my back, and soon after he had gotten a grip, we were off.

"I'd forgotten how good it felt to go this fast!"

"It's only been 3 months since Luke launched us into space, though!"

Of course, my statement was blatant lies, but hell if it didn't feel good at the brink of breaking the sound barrier again.

About a minute later, we had arrived. It wasn't much, but now that we inspected it this closely...

"It's... a robot?"

"It's in pretty good condition. Must have just recently run out of power."

"And I only know one person who could build something like this..."

In unison, we exclaimed the same name...

"Luke!"

"If this is his, he must have gotten through safely!"

"That's a relief... but how are we supposed to find him?"

"We both know he'd never build a robot without a return system. We just have to get it power..."

"No problem! Climb onto its back, I'll have it on in a minute!"

As we both jumped onto the fallen robot's back, my hands began to spark up, almost frying Bowen in the process.

"Watch where you put those!"

"Relax, bonehead. Give me a minute, and we'll be on the road to finding Luke."

I plunged my electrically-charged hands into the robot's battery socket as the gigantic humanoid machine roared to life, apparently not noticing us in the process.

"Hold on tight!"

It righted itself, pulling its chassis out of a small hole in the ground as its' rocket-powered leg substitute began to flare up, suspending it just over a foot from the ground.

"LOCATION UNKNOWN. ACTIVATING GPS TRACKING..."

"That sounds good."

"LOCATION RECOGNIZED. POINT OF ORGIN FOUND. RETURNING TO FACTORY FOR REPAIRS."

"Factory?"

Before I had time to reassure Bowen that it just meant where it was built, it raced off in the direction it was facing.

"Guess it already needed repairs."

"Uh huh. Wait, isn't this the opposite direction to where we were going?"

"I guess so."

"MOTHER FUCK!"

"VOICE RECOGNITION PROGRAM HAS CONFIRMED IDENTITY AS USER 7."

"...He made THAT my authorization phrase?"

"Hey, it could've been worse..." I shrugged.

"Hold on, this isn't the EXACT direction we came from... But how the hell did we miss that?"

"Miss wha-... Oh my GOD."

A towering metal building loomed in front of us, going at least half a mile above the tree line before what appeared to be a floor-in-construction marked the current top.

"If Luke built that, I don't think I'll have any trouble living here anymore..."

"Me neither."

"Come to think of it, when did we last eat?"

"2 days ago, now. Why?"

"I don't feel that hungry..."

This was surprising, coming from him.

"Are you having a hunger stroke? You're... you! You're never not hungry!"

"Well I'm not now!"

"Shut up, we'll have to jump off in a couple seconds..."

Just before the robot entered the mechanical tower, we landed in what looked like a completely mechanical garden.

"If this is the work of Luke, why all the frills? That's not like him."

"Who cares? Nobody here could POSSIBLY have these kinds of technological advances other than him."

"I guess so."

Suddenly, the robot that had carried us there came out of the door it went in through.

"USER 7 WILL COME WITH ME."

"I'm not going without Ray."

"USER 7 WILL COME WITH ME."

"I SAID, I'm not going without Ray!"

""RAY" IS NOT A RECOGNIZED USER. USER 7 WILL COME WITH ME."

"Fine... but first, are you equipped with a facial recognition software?"

"THIS UNIT IS EQUIPPED WITH REQUESTED APPARATUS."

"Scan Ray over there."

It turned to me for the first time, and out of its right eye came a blue beam that enveloped my entire face in a blinding blue light.

"SCAN COMPLETE. USER NOT RECOGNIZED."

"Whaddaya mean, "user not recognized"? I'm Luke's best friend!"

I kicked it. Bad idea.

"UNRECOGNIZED USER IS CAUSING DISTURBANCE. TERMINATING."

Suddenly, out of the top of its right arm came a small gatling gun, with which it then opened fire.

"Whoah!"

Instinctively dodging, I then took off, running up a conveniently placed concave and onto the outer wall of the building, making sure to keep my momentum up so as to not fall off.

"UNRECOGNIZED USER IS ATTEMPTING TO BREACH PREMISES. ACTIVATE DEFENSE MEASURES."

Suddenly, the once-bleak surface of the tower sprung to life, revealing a huge arsenal of varied defensive measures, from simple ridges and extending panels to gatling guns and... GREAT BALLS OF FIRE, LITERALLY!

You'd think this much gunfire would be able to hit one person.

But, no. Plot armor is a great thing to have.

"Nice aim!"

I was quickly racing towards the top, just barely avoiding some of the approaching storm, when, suddenly...

Just as I was about to reach it, the top floor simply EXPLODED.

Fortunately, I managed to jump it and propel myself onto the now one-floor-lower top floor using, once again, my danmaku.

Damn, this stuff's useful.

"I'm at the top!"

"Hooo, this is REALLY high up now that I look at it from here."

The top of the now-broken elevator shaft was open now that the floor built around it had exploded, so I jumped in and hoped for the best.

As the bottom floor came into view, I began hopping from one wall to another to slow my descent, eventually reaching the lowermost door and blasting through it.

"Luke, are you in here?"

"UNRECOGNIZED USER IS CAUSING DISTURBANCE. TERMINATING."

"Not again..."

These ones seemed smaller, most likely built as guards.

"Let's see how you like an overload!"

I made a low hop, attempting to duplicate my spin from when I first used danmaku, charging through both automatons at once with an explosive result.

I HATE mooks...

"Luke? Come on out, your robots are trying to kill me here."

Just before I left the room, a small control panel in an adjacent room caught my eye.

"Let's see what we have here..."

Before I could get there, a thick glass sliding door closed it off.

"PASSWORD REQUIRED."

"Password THIS!"

I generated an electric jolt from my chest, overloading the keypad and opening the door.

"WELCOME, LUKE."

"So this IS his... I was beginning to have doubts."

When I finally managed to get to the control panel, two things became evident:

One, the building was void of human life.

Two, it hadn't been like that a few minutes ago.

"Well then."

I clicked on a file labeled "Welcome_Message_001". Its description was "Will play in the lobby when construction is complete"

"So, this place is still under construction..."

I opened it, and, lo and behold, a hologram of Luke began projecting itself just in front of the screen.

"Welcome! This place is my robot manufacturing site. Please don't go anywhere you aren't directed to, it's very dangerous... Anyway, enjoy the tour."

The hologram then stopped and a window popped up on the screen: "Play again?"

I closed that, and decided to leave the building.

Just outside was the robot that had tried to shoot me earlier, in multiple pieces and partially on fire.

"What's all this?"

"Thing started pissing me off."

"Sounds like you. Anyway, nobody's in there. Just robots."

"How do you know?"

"A control panel said that. It also said the last scan was conducted 10 minutes ago, and I doubt anything could've changed since then."

"But it also said that it had been bustling in the previous scan. Considering they're done every 10 minutes, I'd say that's a little fishy."

"Did Luke get out okay?"

"All escape pods were used at around the same time everyone left. I doubt he died, but some people definitely did."

"What do you think happened?"

"Robots went haywire, I guess. They attacked me in there, too."

"It's getting dark."

"Would it be safe to sleep in there if we barricaded all the doors?"

"It should be."

"Let's do it, then."

After arranging the robot's armored plating combined with a controlled flame of Bowen's to weld them in place, we slept once again.

* * *

**Through not taking nearly as many breaks in writing, I managed to get this to you before the Mann vs Machine update! Now I can play it guilt-free!**

**Yes, I play TF2. Get over it.**

**Blah blah something about criticism blah somewhat new writer blah blah humor blah goodbye.**


	5. Chapter 5: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Eye

**Alright the title's a bit more obscure this time**

**Dunno why**

* * *

**Chapter 5: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!... eye.**

*yawn*

"Oh god, I'm not sure what I'm more worried about; The fact that that was the best sleep I've had in weeks, or the fact that it was on a leather couch."

"I know, right? Anyway, we'd better get moving."

Ah, morning. Best time of the day, if you ask me. Even in summer, it isn't hot yet, but it's light enough to run in.

"Wait, shouldn't we loot the place for useful tech first?"

"...Good idea. I'll clear the way, you collect anything that seems useful."

Through our combined efforts of robot-smashing and item-collecting that I won't bore you with the details of, we managed to make off with an energy tracker, an instant small shelter (beds and light included), and what seemed to be a prototype hoverpack.

(My excuse for some of this "Science I pulled out of my ass" stuff is that the story is set a decade or so from now. Just so you know.)

"What's powering all this anyway?"

"Like I care. Now, let's MOVE!"

Ah, classic Bowen...

"...Uh, what was the plan again?"

2 for 2.

"Where Luke is, energy is, so we follow the largest energy reading we can find."

"Ohh, right. Also, can I have this hoverpack? You can jump easily anyway."

"Yeah, sure. It doesn't do much to lift you up, but if you can keep moving forward, it can have the effect of a hang glider."

"Huh... okay then."

"Now, let's see... largest energy reading in a 5 mile radius is...

Thataway."

I pointed to the tower.

"Eheh. Sorry. Next biggest in a five mile radius is...

There."

* * *

This time, it was in almost the opposite direction of the metal spire from us. Well, at least the tower didn't interfere...

"Hop on. I'm not gonna miss him this time!"

As Bowen hopped on, I charged my danmaku once more...

Only to have it fizzle out.

"Oh, come ON! Not NOW..."

This time, more effort...

...

HA!

"Hey, what's going-"

A thunderous bang interrupted his sentence as we took off at literal supersonic speeds, shattering the sound barrier in the process.

"WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOO!"

And, once again, I had surpassed the capacity for speed on foot by virtually unmeasurable amounts, sending us barreling straight towards what we assumed was Luke's location.

After a bit more than 1 minute of running, we hit a minor hitch in our previously foolproof plan.

_Hold up, is that..?_

"Water!"

I might be an olypic-class runner, but I can't swim!

I immediately reversed the force of my power, skidding to a halt right on the edge of a massive lake and sending Bowen flying off of my back, flying off to the center of said large body of water.

"IF I DROWN, I WILL COME BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD JUST TO HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE LIFEEE~!"

"Well, at least the impact will be so-"

He landed on a horribly placed rock... island... thingy in the center, just on the edge of my view.

"Spoke too soon."

* * *

(Remember what I said about the perspective during fights from then on? This is now Bowen's POV. Only for the fight though.)

"Oh, son of a bitch..."

_I swear to god I will shove my fist so far up his..._

"Hold on."

I took a few steps back, making a double take as the water around me began freezing.

"Alright... whoever that is, come on out. You've had your fun."

"I'm not having fun! You're supposed to be SCARED! At least a little shocked!"

A little girl flew out of the thickening fog. Blue hair, blue dress, with few ice shards floating around her. If I were one for cute, I'd have expressed it by now.

"I'll go with the last one, but really now."

"Ha! Eye, the strongest, shocked you!"

Was that...? You have GOT to be kidding me.

"Shut up, before I shove my flaming fist so far down your throat you won't be able to feel your stomach."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Getting cocky now, little girl? Fine, I've been itching to fight something organic since I got here anyway!"

_Aww. She's confused. Look at her, tilting her head like th- WHAT AM I THINKING STOP IT_

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It probably won't mean anything to you, but I blew up a tower full of robots with my bare hands this morning."

Impressive pose time!

"And what have you done with your life?"

"Stop talking and fight eye, Cirno, the strongest!"

"Whatever you say, kid..."

* * *

**-IIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!-**

The little fairy kid pulled out a small card...

"Ice sign: Sword Freezer!"

Then it disappeared.

As it did so, Cirno's arm became encased in a very sharp looking icicle, while she posed for what she must have hoped was dramatic effect.

Nah.

"Let's see how your little icicle stands up to THIS!"

I pulled my arm back, readying myself to make a jump with all the force I could muster. Focusing my energy, I concentrated on my fist...

"HAAH!"

I flew into the air, swinging my entire body and creating a massive fiery arc behind my arm as it charged onward.

_Come on, LET'S HIT THIS BITCH IN THE FACE!_

She raised her frozen arm, just barely blocking the potentially lethal shot by sacrificing itself.

_Aww, she blocked it with her sword... Well, at least the actual fire hit her..._

Spiraling backwards, Cirno took a moment to adjust herself.

"You... No fair! You can't use fire, eye use ice!"

"You know full well it's impossible to change your danmaku."

"Grr..."

Oh, another card. What is it this time?

"Ice sign: Icicle Machine Gun!"

Cirno brought her arms together, shooting a stream of, you guessed it, icicles, in my direction.

"Really? Ice again?"

"You just said you knew you can't change danmaku!"

This time, I send off a few pulses of fire, blowing the icicles they DIDN'T melt way off course.

"You're not very strong, little girl. Might be the strongest fairy, but that ain't saying much.

"Grr!"

The stream of icicles begins shooting more rapidly, flying off in all directions as I continue to counter.

Through the storm of fire and ice, a random stray shot manages to come into contact with me...

...Only to phase right through?

Didn't hurt too much...

_Come to think of it, shouldn't her face be a fire-retardant mass of scar tissue and bone right now?_

_Eh, screw it._

"Is that all? You've run out of ice? And I thought you had some power over it..."

"I'll show you! Freeze sign: Perfect Freeze!"

A huge blue shockwave flew out from her body. I braced for impact, but...

Nothing happened?

"Lot of good that "perfect" freeze did you! Now, let's finish thi- Wha?!"

_My hands... They're frozen to the ground!_

"It's the end for you!" Cirno raises her arms while clenching her fists...

"Ice cube: Perfect Crusher!"

_Shit! My danmaku isn't working and a giant block of ice is gathering above my head! what do I...?_

**RUMBLE**

"What..?"

Against my will, my arms flared up with a huge energy, bringing themselves above my head...

"MOLTEN SIGN: ERUPTION!"

Whoah. I didn't say that...

Suddenly, massive plumes of fire, lava, and rocks began to erupt from water and land alike around me, instantly smashing the cause of my imminent doom and torching that goddamn little girl all at once.

* * *

"NO FAAAIR!"

"What is it with you little kids and fairness?"

As she broke free of the grip of one molten vortex, the little ice fairy only wound up flying face first into multiple others, repeating the process until the point of making an agonizing scream as a huge shattering sound filled the battlefield.

**-K.O.-**

After a few more seconds of this carnage, things began to die down.

Small peices of lava, rock, and fire began to break off of the dying firestorm, swirling around in front of Bowen. Then, as fast as it had begun, they all pulled together, shining with a white light as they merged into a solid, flat object...

"Isn't is something like what Cirno used during the fight?"

As it became less bright, Bowen saw that the face of the card had a bronze-looking main part with a deeper-looking outline, a picture that looked like the attack with a golden border near the top, and a quick written description of the attack in the remaining space.

"Let's see now... "Molten sign: Eruption"... I summon a mass of flaming energy deep underground, harnessing natural heat to boost its power,

Then pull it all up simultaneously, engulfing the battlefield with rock, lava, and fire...

...Sounds about right."

"Dude! NICE!"

Bowen turned around just in time to see Ray land on the platform he was standing on.

"Ray? WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW UP EARLIER?!"

"I just found a path of stepping stones to jump from, don't get so mad..."

"Eh, like hell you did! You were scared!"

"Scared? Of HER? HA! Didn't Reimu tell you about that joker?"

"What do you mean?"

"She talks big and acts big, but she never wins."

"Ugh. Are you telling me that I fought hard for nothing?"

"No, not at all! You just made your first spell card!"

* * *

There was a small pause.

"Spell WHAT?"

"Did you talk to Reimu at ALL when we were at the shrine? They're essentially danmaku with a more set form, but they're all incredibly powerful."

"You can't use too many, though, because a limit is usually set for the maximum before battle. Guess it was 4 in this case."

"Also, the condition for winning is breaking all the opponent's spell cards before yours are broken, traditionally. Also, I assume it was like this here. That shattering sound you heard was you winning."

"So, she wasn't the big energy we saw?"

"Nope. That's a little ways that direction."

"The fog's too thick to do anything... Let's just set up camp here."

"Good idea. Damn, the sun must be conscious of our activities or something. It always seems to set at the right times."

"Maybe that Yukari girl is doing it? you know, the one who presented you with the option to leave me and Luke here to die?"

"I don't think she can manipulate time, only space..."

"Oh. Alright then. Come on, get the instant shelter out."

"That's right, we did pick that up, didn't we?"

Ray took out a small white box with a single button on its top, and set it on the flat stone island.

"Ever seen one of these work?"

"No. You're more Luke's friend than me."

"Heh. Get ready to be amazed, and stand back!"

Ray pushed the button, jumping backwards as the bottom of the box spread out across the ground while its top rose upward, going around 7 feet in the air before its four edges extended into a slanted roof at the same time the walls came up to meet it.

Then, once the exterior creation was complete, parts of the shelter retracted back into the walls, creating windows and a doorway as two small beds slid out of the walls on either side of the modest shack.

"Okay. I'll admit it; Luke is an absolute fucking GENIUS. How does this thing even work?"

"Beats me. Anyway, we have shelter, light and beds included. It's gonna be a short and comfortable night."

They walked into the small hut just as the last bit of lingering light left the sky, draping the landscape with a deep shade of black as the frog's concerto resumed.

* * *

**Searching...**

**Finding compatible servers and players near you...**

**Estimated time remaining: Too long**

**Players in queue: Literally over 9000**

**Empty servers: More than enough to fit the entire queue**

**Active servers: A couple hundred**

**Full servers: Around the 400-700 area**

**And that, friends, is why this was written.**

**Mann vs Machine isn't so much that as Mann vs Servers.**

**So, to pass the time, I wrote again. Whoopee.**

**You know the drill.**


	6. Chapter 6: Do you believe in magic?

**Chapter 6: Do you believe in magic?**

"What do you MEAN it's not there anymore?"

"The energy tracker can't sense it. Whatever was there yesterday is either gone or isn't radiating power."

"Well, do you remember where it was?"

"It was to the right of the door from outside, but we couldn't see 5 feet in front of us with that fog last night..."

Ugh. Well, that's one hope for finding Luke gone.

Bowen walked outside to take a look around, as I sat on my bed in thought.

_How are we supposed to-_

"Uh... Ray?"

"What?"

"I don't think we need the tracker to find the energy anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Promising.

"Just... just come and look."

I slowly walked over to the door, exiting and immediately turning to where bowen was looking.

"Well then."

As we couldn't see through the previous evening's fog, standing on the opposite side of the lake was a mansion. That majestic kind, the type you think of when you think of the very word.

Every color on it was either green from vegetation or red from paint.

"Doesn't look like something he made."

"Looks can be decieving. Did that fairy last night look any stronger than any other one you'd faced?"

"YES!"

Hand. To. Face.

"Let's just get the shelter packed up and go."

As we packed, we reviewed what little plan we had.

"If we meet hostiles?"

"We fight."

"If we meet non-hostiles?"

"We fight."

"Bonehead..."

"Now, the shelter's in my backpack again. Let's get going."

"But how are we gonna cross?"

"Gimme the hoverpack, I have an idea."

As he handed it to me, I once more began to spark my hand up, giving it extra power while slipping it onto my back.

"Now, as soon as I jump, grab my legs and don't let go."

"Will do. Are you sure this will work?"

"Do rocks fall?"

With that, I jumped into the air, shortly afterwards rocketing off with the combined force of an overloaded hoverpack and my own danmaku shooting us across the lake.

Once we reached the shore, I quickly absorbed some energy, allowing the hoverpack to slowly ease us down...

Oh wait. I think I fried it doing that.

"Uh, Bowen. Slight problem. I don't think we're floating anymore."

"And that means?"

Just then, it gave out, sending us plummeting towards the earth.

"IF I DIE, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!"

He then clung to me for dear life.

Smooooooth.

"I've got this."

I quickly forced my danmaku towards the point of our imminent impact, raising it slightly so as to soften the blow.

"There. We're not dying."

"...If we ever manage to hit the ground."

"Come to think of it, we were only like 20 feet above the ground, weren't we?"

"Oh... the hoverpack never failed...

But then what made us feel like we were falling?"

"An updraft?"

"20 feet from the ground?" Sarcasm.

"Hey, I just fought a fucking ice fairy. If you know everything that can happen here then I'll be damned."

Did... did Bowen of all people just form a half-decent comeback?

"Fuck it, this is too slow."

I turned off the hoverpack, gracefully sending us face-first into the ground.

Bowen quickly pulled himself out of the ground, mostly for the express purpose of exclaiming "WHY DID YOU FUCKING DO THAT?!"

"I told you, it was too slow."

"SLOW IS WHAT YOU'LL BE ONCE I'M FINISHED WITH YOU!"

"Whoah, whoah, buddy, calm down now. I'm the only other outsider you can get right now. Either deal with me or go it alone."

After a bit of grumbling, he begrudgingly agreed as we continued onward towards the ever-nearing mansion.

"Whoever picked the decor for this place must have a taste for the color red... And all the wrong shade, at that."

"When did you become an exterior designer?"

After several more minutes of uneventful walking, we ran into a sleeping girl. She appeared to be human, and had a green shirt on, as well as a beret of a matching shade on top of her moderate-length red hair.

I cautiously approached. God knows what species this girl could actually turn out to be.

"Excuse me, hello? Uh... did you see our friend pass through here?"

No response. She didn't even budge.

"Excuse me. Miss. Please wake up." This time, I prodded her a little bit as I spoke.

Still nothing.

Apparently, Bowen had had enough of being ignored.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Were the only words to exit his mouth as he slammed the ground, causing a small tremor and a thunderous rumbling.

...Still. No. Response.

"Is she dead?"

"She seems to be breathing..."

"But how did she sleep through THAT?"

"Long night?"

"Anyway, if that didn't wake her up, she probably isn't going to be of much assistance. Let's go look for Luke in that mansion."

Ignoring the apparently very sleepy woman, we pressed on.

As we finally reached the door, we came to the hope-shattering realization that it was locked.

"Now how do we get in there?"

"We probably shouldn't break any windows..." I began to run off. "I'll scout around and see if I can't find a back do-"

**CRASH**

"There, it's open."

Bowen dusted his right arm off as I quickly returned to see one of the doors no longer on its hinges, and, rather, on its back, halfway across the now-visible entrance hall to the mansion. In its flight path were several chunks of wood, the hinges, and a few spots of flame.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"What? It's not like anybody noticed it."

Of course, now that he had said that, he jinxed it.

As predicted, within seconds, the girl from earlier came crashing down just in front of us as we tried to enter the curiously-placed mansion.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?" How rude.

"You were asleep earlier. We were looking for our friend, and tried to wake you up to ask for help. Bonehead over here caused a fucking mini-earthquake and you didn't budge, so we just moved on."

"And what makes you think your friend is here?" ...Alright, the "sleeping" comment definitely offended or possbily worried her.

"We have a device that tracks large amounts of energy. This place was the second-largest in the area, the single largest of which we had already checked."

"What does energy have to do with your friend?"

"He builds machines and factories that use electricity. Natually, those places and objects show up on the energy tracker. We're just following signs of his tech, really."

"Fair enough." She nodded. "But you still can't go in here!"

"Why not? Our friend could be in there for all we know."

"No, he could not. Whatever your "energy tracker" sensed was NOT electricity, whatever that is."

"Your proof of this being?"

"I..." She raised her finger, as if making a point. "I, uh..."

And, she's nervous... "It..."

She lowered her finger and closed her mouth.

"I don't. But I'm still not supposed to allow anyone through here!"

Bowen was, once again, angered by the fact that he was being neglected.

Once again smashing the ground for emphasis, he roared "JUST LET US THROUGH BEFORE I KNOCK A WALL DOWN AND GO IN MYSELF!"

"I'm not supposed to let anyone through. I'm not saying it again."

Bowen, now infuriated, somehow managed to form a calm-sounding sentence. "I'll fight you, if you want. If you win, we'll leave. If I win, you'll let us through."

"Do we have a deal?"

He held out his hand to shake on it.

She eyed it curiously for a few seconds, before poking it.

Cultural diversity strikes again!

"...Fine. I'm not going to go easy on outsiders though!"

"Also... I only have one card. Can we keep it to that?"

"You came here with only one card?" She seemed a bit frustrated this time.

"Actually, no I just made it while I was crossing that lake."

He came over and spoke to me before leaping to the battlefield; "Just stay out of this."

-IIIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!-

_(POV switch: Bowen again)_

"...Who just said that?" Certainly not you, guard girl.

"Uh... Ray? Any ideas?" Nor Me.

"Oh. Sorry. That must be something the hoverpack does, I guess." Well, it definitely wasn't Ray.

"Why did Luke put something like that in there?"

"Wasn't he designing this thing for you before we left home?"

"Ohh, right..."

**SMASH**

I found my head lodged in what appeared to be a log.

_Fuckin' a... That actually hurt._

"That was a bit..." I cringed, picking myself out of a now-fallen tree. "...low."

"I told you, I'm not going easy!"

"Suit yourself." I brushed off my shirt and jumped into a flaming dive-bomb, barely missing her as she quickly rolled to the side.

Realizing this, I turned to my right and fired off a punch, once again barely dodged.

"Okay, you know what? Fuck aiming."

As the guard-girl opened fire, I made a straight-upward leap, quickly lurching forward with the help of my danmaku.

_I can't seem to hit her with just punches... I'll have to do something differently._

When I had arrived above her, I launched myself, soon afterward delivering an explosive punch to the ground.

The spherical blast of fire appeared to have caught her off-guard, so, I took a chance, throwing a real punch with all of my strength.

The next thing I could see through the resulting flames was a crater from the impact point leading up to 3 broken trees, all trailing behind her as she returned.

"That was a little rough." Understatement of the day, right there.

"I can't seem to hit you that much, so I just have to hit you all the harder to make up for it."

"That's no way to treat a-"

"Use that fucking excuse. Use it ONE FUCKING TIME, AND I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR LARGE INTESTINE."

"Eep!" Her eyes quickly widened.

Considering how she was acting before, that must've actually scared her.

She produced a card out of thin air. _How the fuck do you do that?_

"Colorful sign: Rainbow wind chime!"

She began producing a spiral of rainbow-colored danmaku around her, making approach nigh impossible.

To hell with it, I'm trying anyway!

I took off, running straight into the storm of bullets.

To be honest, all of them stung a bit. I wasn't exactly trying to dodge.

"Hngh..."

"GAH!" I was blown backward at the last minute, landing me right back at square one.

_I can't get close at all, and there aren't any openings... But it doesn't seem like she's moving..._

"Heeeeh heh heh heh..."

I produced the only card in my posession from my pocket, declaring its name as I had on the lake...

"Molten sign: Eruption!"

Just as before, plumes of lava, rock and fire began to puncture the ground, engulfing the area in a sea of flame.

But, unlike last time, they began to move towards the opponent, eventually preventing her danmaku from spawning around her and, as evidenced by the following noise, was obviously doing its job.

In the same manner as on the lake, a deafening shattering sound marked the end of the battle, causing both the combatant's spell cards to cease at once.

-K.O.-

_(POV switch: Back to Ray)_

"And there goes that voice again..."

"Will you just shut up about it?"

"Both of you. Shut up."

That was a bit quick. You know, I'm beginning to wonder if brute force really IS the key to success here...

"Anyhow, lady, you agreed to let us through if he beat you."

"I'm not called "lady", my name is Meiling."

"Well you should have introduced yourself sooner if you wanted to be called by your name."

Okay, this is what happens when a girl is like Bowen. Hotheaded, then sheepish once they realize they've done something wrong, but less willing to accept it despite that.

"Fine... you can pass. But I'm telling you, your friend isn't in there!"

"Last time we took advice from a stranger, we had to fight off aliens from another dimension."

"Wasn't that the first time?"

"Oh, right. LAST time, we wound up creating multiple parallel worlds formed entirely out of rift energy."

"Hold on... how did Luke even get the money for this much science equipment?"

"Government research grant? He WAS breaking ground, after all..."

"But portals through space already existed!"

"Not ones safe for organic beings to pass through."

Meiling brought the conversation to a halt.

"Hold on, did you just say portals through space?"

"Yeah. Why? I thought you had someone here who could do that already."

"Exactly. Yukari doesn't take kindly to outsiders doing those kind of things..."

"Well, her bringing us here doesn't seem too unreasonable now, at least..."

_Hold on. Where's Bowen?_

**BANG**

"Dammit, Bonehead. Stop leaving."

I blew off after him into the large red mansion.

* * *

_"...In a young girl's heart~"_

Oop- gah. You're here. Anyway...

See, here I decided to not resolve every problem created in this chapter right away. In other news, the basic plot of arc 1 is laid out. It's gonna be 20 chapters or so. Gonna be lots of plot twists and stuff. Have fun.

Also, it was my birthday yesterday, I was sick as a dog the previous 2, and my back hurt tremendously if I tried to move it for 2 days before that. So there's why I didn't get this out sooner.


	7. Chapter 7: Insert valve pun here

Chapter 7: Insert valve joke here

"Bowen? Where are you?"

_How did I, the olympic class runner, lose someone with the brain of a peacock and the running ability of a well toned elephant?_

"Bowen! Get over here to the entrance, NOW!"

No response.

_Dammit, looks like I gotta find him myself..._

Picking up speed, I rushed through the hallways while calling for my lost, pea-brained friend.

"Bowen!"

I stopped at a slightly open door.

_It's dark in there, Bowen hates the dark. Not a chance._

As quickly as I had stopped, I ran off again.

(POV switch: Third person, in this location)

For a while, nothing could be heard.

The area was void of activity, until a voice came from beyond the door.

"...Sakuya."

Where Ray had been seconds ago, there was now a white-haired woman in a maid outfit.

"Yes?"

"We have intruders. Expel them, please."

"Yes, milady."

The maid disappeared in a flash of light, emitting a sound somewhat like metal rubbing against metal, briefly but speedily.

(POV switch: Ray)

_...This must be it._

I was standing in front of a doorway that appeared to have once had a door in it. Unfortunately, said door was split into individual boards, lodged in a wooden shelf, across the room that was on the other side of the door.

The hinges still had small parts of it attached, and were barely attached to the doorframe.

"Bowen?"

Still no response...

"Where has that nimrod gotten off to?"

As if to answer my question, I heard a crashing sound, like a lot of stuff falling off a shelf.

Off in the distance, I heard a voice. "Dammit... Didn't mean to knock that one over."

_Bingo._

I walked into the room, only to find that the ceiling was at least twice to three times the height of the roof of the mansion.

"I didn't go down any stairs... Except those ones I had already gone up."

As I further examined the area, it was easy to determine that this was a massive library. Massive, with a capital EVERYTHING. This place puts every public library in America, COMBINED, to shame.

_If I know Bowen..._

I walked around, somewhat cautious of what could be hiding in these shelves, following the sound of my numb-skulled companion's voice as it grew.

"...Nope."

Curious as to what he was doing, I decided to sneak up on him.

Walking around to the opposite side of the aisle he was in, I slowly approached him.

"...Nope."

Eventually, I got close enough to tell he was...

_Taking books out of the bookcase..._

He took what appeared to be his 50th or something book out of the case, simply saying "Nope" as he tossed it to the ground.

_That poor guy, he's looking for that kind of cliche'd secret entrance._

"HEY, BOWEN!"

He looked over at me, dropping the book in his hand while making a mad dash for me.

"Ray, help me look for a secret entrance."

"I don't think Luke would design one like that..."

"You don't?" He looked disappointed.

"Sorry, but no. Anyway, I don't think Luke is in here, but something strange is definitely afoot."

"What?"

"Have you looked up at the ceiling in here?"

"No, why? What's wrong wi-"

He stopped mid-thought to stare in awe at the impossible. You'd think seeing an ice fairy would fix that.

"...Exactly. Anyway, if Luke isn't in here, then we'd better stop wasting time before we run into more-"

A set of throwing knives was suddenly lodged in the bookcase we were in front of moments ago.

_Not good._

"PUT ME DOWN!"

"Not unless your childhood dream was to be a pincushion!"

I had, in a desperate grab at living another day, picked Bowen up and blown off through the sea of bookcases.

_More knives, twelve o clock!_

Taking a quick jump to the right, I landed just as the aisle came to an end, thankfully allowing myself to continue on, and up the wall.

Rushing upward, I had to make an unexpected turn as more knives came to rest where I would have been in a matter of seconds.

_Wait... why haven't I lost whoever this is yet?_

I looked over my shoulder, hoping to see my assailant, to no avail.

_Well, if it's a fight they want, it's a fight they get!_

I made a u-turn, sending Bowen and I hurtling towards the ground at dangerous speeds. Just before we became half-living pancakes, I jumped, sliding down an adjascent bookcase to bring our descent to a smooth halt.

"Come on out, now. I don't want to fight, but if that's all you're here for, I can oblige!"

Bowen jumped out of my grasp, pushing me aside.

"No, this is my fight. I'm on a roll today."

Just less than a second after he had said this, a metallic screech pierced the air and a woman appeared.

_What's with all the girls? I'm the only guy I've seen here, save for Bowen..._

Studying her appearance, she looked to be a maid.

_Well, this IS a mansion._

She had short, white hair and a set of knives between her fingers on either hand.

"If you don't want to fight, then I'll have to ask you to leave."

Bowen stepped up, raising a fist towards the maid.

"And if we don't?"

"...Then I'm afraid I'll have to use force."

In a split second, the knives from her hands were lodged on the wall behind Bowen, making a perfect outline of his body.

"If you enjoy the fact that you're alive, I'd recommend leaving. I don't miss."

I stepped over to my only companion, hoping to change his mind.

"Bowen... this might be the first time my speed is actually useful here. Can I handle this one?"

"...Fine. But don't expect me to help you out when your ass gets kicked!"

-IIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!-

"...What was that?" That thing seems to confuse EVERYONE, doesn't it?

"Hoverpack. Just ignore it. That also means it detected we're going to fight, so... uh."

The maid produced more knives from an indiscernable location, preparing to strike.

"So be it."

She rocketed towards me, removing a few strands of hair as I backflipped out of the way.

Quickly realizing this, she sent what knives she had flying in my direction, all of them once again dodged as I jumped off of the wall.

"I thought you were keeping up with me, before!"

Following through with my jump, I decided to take on the element of surprise, transforming it into a flying kick while tripling my speed.

Unfortunately, she dodged, leaving me to impact the ground. Of course, not everything can go as planned.

"Oof!"

That hurt a little more than expected.

"Uh, Ray..."

"WHAT? Can't you see I'm BUSY here?"

I had to duck under a few incoming knives, barely keeping my head attached to my shoulders.

"There's something big, and it's coming this way fast..."

"Does it look about as big as what we saw last night?"

I threw out a palmful of fodder danmaku, barely countering the inbound knives.

"No... Bigger."

Just as he said that, a growing sound became evident. Like an engine, but too deep and too loud.

"WHAT?!"

I jumped over the maid as she attempted a sweeping kick.

"It's almost here now..."

A massive crashing sound could be heard outside.

"This is getting bad, fast... Sorry, lady, but I can't stay! Whatever's outside is probably out to kill, though, so I think you'd better run."

Once again, a thunderous crash sounded outside. It got louder, this time shaking the area around us.

"So you're leaving?"

She held her next round of knives back for a bit.

"Yeah."

"Good. My job is done."

Her knives outright disappeared, to god-knows-where.

"Well, at any rate, there won't be anywhere left to leave in a minute or two!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Are you deaf? Didn't you hear the bombs going off outside?!"

"Bombs?"

The maid appeared dumbfounded.

**CRASH**

A new skylight was involuntarily installed on the roof of the library, and some books began to fall from their shelves.

"Yes, bombs! Now RUN!"

**_Start music: Flying Battery Zone_**

I picked Bowen up as I had before, abruptly ending my battle with the knife-throwing maid by removing myself from the premises, deciding to once again scale the wall.

The books proved a minor nuisance as the ceiling grew ever closer, until eventually I took a leap of faith, up and out the hole in the roof.

_Now, what's doing all this?_

Night had fallen, and it was pitch black, except for... no, wait, those are searchlights!

"Ray? What's- oof."

I just dropped him.

"You son of a..."

He stopped, looking at the titanic airship hovering just above their heads.

"Yeah."

"So. Want to find the nearest safe area and blow this thing to high hell above it?"

"There are only two answers to that: Yes, and HELL yes."

With a face-splitting grin shared between us, we made the biggest jumps we could, sending us spiraling up into the air-based aircraft carrier.

We were instantly greeted by a group of 3 robots, each of which quickly and violently dissassembled with our combined effort.

"They might pack a decent punch, but they might as well be glued together at this point!"

"Which way do you think the helm is?"

"Uh..."

"Wait, here's a map."

The map was very well made, showing on a large electronic screen, and composed entirely of different shades of blue, save for the "YOU ARE HERE" marker, which was red.

"So, we're here in artillery/resupply room #6, the engines would be to the left, and the helm on the opposite side. Simple enough."

**CLUNK**

"Way ahead of you!"

The door, once again, was off its hinges. It was metal, and huge, so it didn't fly as far, but...

_Of course, as soon as it comes to smashing, he suddenly can't contain himself._

I sighed as more robots spotted everyone's favorite dimwit, promptly signing their own death warrants as they were chucked through the floor and sent plummeting to their doom.

_A few rooms and approximately $10,000 total damage to hardware later..._

_**STOP MUSIC**_

"Luke, if you're in there, come out before we commandeer the ship!"

We were standing just outside the helm, ready to do just what we were threatening to.

"10... 9... 8-"

"TOO SLOW!"

Yet another door was liberated from its hinges, luckily this time only falling over as opposed to crashing through a window.

*sigh*

We walked into the cockpit, expecting something completely smooth and streamlined, like a one-button ship with 50 useless blinking lights or something.

Instead, it was pretty much what you'd expect from an air carrier, except for one vital difference; At the center was a huge pilot's chair, with most of the controls centering around it instead of located on the control panels.

"This looks familiar."

Bowen walked over to the pilot's chair.

"Isn't this keyboard from the first portal thingy?"

He made himself comfortable in the luxurious seat, inspecting more of the elements of the control panels.

"And this joystick. This was in the compact shuttle."

"Well, these ARE Luke's basic designs for these things."

Now, we knew enough about how to fly to make this thing work.

"One problem. How do we get it to obey our commands?"

"Hang on, didn't that robot recognize me from a voice identifier? Maybe this thing..."

"Try it."

I leaned forward over the guard rail in genuine interest.

Bowen readied himself, most likely visualizing a situation in which the authorization phrase would be fitting.

"MOTHER FUCK!"

Perfect!

"USER 7 RECOGNIZED. PILOT PERMISSIONS GRANTED."

"Told you so."

The controls that were around the pilot's chair closed around it, in turn creating what looked like one of those chair-based playpens for babies, except on steroids.

"Now, this looks pretty simple... This joystick here controls direction, this lever altitude, this screen is the radar, and those are the controls for the main laser cannon."

"When the fuck did you go to flight school, bonehead?"

"Two years before I met you."

"Now, the control panel to my right and behind me looks like it handles exterior cameras and weaponry. The other one looks like it handles internal security, bombs, and also serves as a robot control center."

"What I want you to do is shut down all weaponry temporarily. We don't know what the hell might be coming our way, but I don't want any misfires while there isn't any threat."

"Sure thing..."

_Bowen? __**FLIGHT SCHOOL?**_

I flipped a few levers, pressing a few buttons as I did so, and watched the robot horde return to a standby position as the side-mounted laser cannons retracted into the hull of the metallic monster we were riding in. During this, the drop hatches also closed.

"Weaponry shut down."

"Good. Shifting from "stable" to "fast"."

Bowen pulled a lever that was directly to his right, some of my screens showing the wings, previously located on top of the carrier, extend out into more plane-like positions.

"Starting auxillary engines..."

Bowen flipped a switch near the lever he had already.

A louder whirr than before rang throughout the airship, indicating that this operation was a success.

"Scoping out nearest potential landing area..."

A screen lowered from the ceiling, to a location just above a point at which it would block Bowen's view. I couldn't see what was on it, but...

"Ascending to safe altitude..."

Bowen pushed the lever that was just to the left of the main control joystick, slowly raising the airship further into the night sky.

"Launching."

The iron beast plunged forward, not nearly as fast as I could run, but hell, this thing's too big for it to be able to do that.

After 3 minutes of uneventful flying, we found a large clearing. This was too good to be true.

"So, are you sure you wanna blow this thing up?"

"I'll quote you here; 'do rocks fall?'"

"Fair enough. But, really, did you think I forgot to loot the place? I found you a better hoverpack and a range amplifier for the energy detector."

In truth, the range amplifier was universal to all detectors and other gadgets that had a radius of effect, but what Bowen didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Sweet. Let's hook it up!"

Bowen put the machine into stable mode, ordering it to simply hover where it did now.

"I was itching to get this clunky thing off anyway. PLEASE tell me the new one's bigger..."

"Wait, wait. Why don't we figure out what its power source is, now that we have a replacement?"

"...You're full of good ideas here, you know that?"

We took it to the artillery, and used a military grade laser to crack it open. What we saw, instead of a battery or a mini-generator was what looked like a shard of a gemstone.

"Alright. I knew these existed in the outside world, but... who would be smart enough to mine them, here of all places, and for what purpose? They don't need electrical power or anything, their magic is enough..."

I picked it up between my thumb and forefinger, holding it up to examine it.

"We'd better hold onto it. God knows what these things can do for magical power."

"First good point I've heard outta you today, bonehead! Great work!"

_Mental note; if I value my head being located on my shoulders, I shouldn't diss Bowen._

We exited the airship from the top, standing there for a few moments looking off at the horizon. Just then, a black blur passed us by, accompanied by a white flash, disorienting me slightly.

But, I didn't want to anger bowen any more. I leapt to the ground, using a combination of danmaku and being light on my feet to land safely. Bowen just used the hoverpack.

"You ready?"

He looked over at me, with the look of a killer on his face.

"As I've ever been."

With that, we charged. Bowen wrapped his entire body in flame, propelling himself full-force into the steel deathtrap, while I used my danmaku similarly, exept with another direction of spin.

(This part of the story was actually, surprisingly, long and boring up until the point I stopped the cut.)

When we had landed on the ground, Bowen had a satisfied look on his face and I just kept it straight, looking down.

We were both turned away as the airship exploded with style, sending bits, peices, and chunks of metal, paper, glass, and other debris flying out of the mass of fire and smoke.

Just as we were walking away, the same black blur came by again, with the same flash, and the same dizziness.

"What was that?"

"I think we just got our photos taken. By someone who can move as fast as me."

"Who in the hell could do that? You can break the sound barrier on a whim, dammit!"

Bowen was a little mad. I figured I should be too, considering I was just shown up, but I was suddenly very, VERY tired.

"Like I care. Sleep. Now."

I threw an improved instant shelter that I hadn't mentioned to him on the ground, letting it do its thing. It was significantly faster than the old one, despite being roomier, including a radio, and being more comfortable in general, with which came a small bathroom and carpeting.

Without thinking, I walked in as the house finished itself, falling over just as the bed came out of the wall to catch me.

And like that, I slept.

* * *

**Oi, you all. This was the longest chapter to write yet. Also, I ran out of valve puns.**

**Aya, the lying reporter who makes stories at the expense of the one who stars in them, and Bowen, the hair-triggered strong man who carries a grudge more than a bucket carries water.**

**This is like mixing gasoline and fire; You know the result. But you do it anyway, because you want to see something explode.**


	8. Chapter 8: Interloper

**I'm baaaaaack!**

**School and stuff, please forgive the lack of updates.**

**Anyway, let's do this!**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Interloper**

"nng... ah."

I groggily turned my head to the side, greeted by the empty bed on the other side of the room.

"...Bowen? Mmng..."

Slowly picking myself up, I assumed a half-sitting, half-laying position.

"Dammit."

I heard a splash nearby.

Getting out of bed, I brought my feet to the ground, stepped into my shoes, and walked outside, still half-asleep.

Another splash, more cursing.

_I have the oddest feeling... _

As I walked through the nearby tree line, my suspicions confirmed themselves as I saw Bowen sitting at the edge of a small body of water, fishing rod in hand and yet not a single fish around him.

"Any luck?"

I had just now realized how much I was starving. Based on the average human, we had a week and a half until starvation finished us off. And that's if something didn't eat US first.

"Nope."

"Should we just move on?"

"Not until I catch every fish in this pond.'

It was a surprisingly murky pool of water, considering how small it was. You could see some movement below the surface, but the fogginess covered most of it.

"You're gonna take way too long doing it like that."

I stuck a finger in the water, bringing some danmaku to the tip of it and letting it fly.

Soon afterward, literally every living thing in the water was on the surface.

"Son of a bitch, why didn't I think of that? I would've woken you up sooner."

"If we can find more water, we could make quite a bit of profit selling fish."

"Eh, we should eat what we have first."

"Good thought." _No self control? It's like this place is distilling everything in our personalities into fine, stereotypically exaggerated points._

Bowen waded through the chest-deep water, collecting the fruits of our not-so-arduous labor, ensuring us our first meal in weeks.

Later, outside the shelter, we used a few branches and my companion's danmaku to roast the modest pile of fish within minutes, eating it moments later.

"I never thought fish could taste so good." I licked my fingers.

"I forgot how it felt to be full." Bowen sat down on the spot, resting for a moment. I followed suit.

As we were enjoying the peace, a chunk of metal fell between us, lodging itself in the ground.

At this point, we had seen too much to be fazed. We just mulled over the cause of it.

"...Isn't this the door from the airship? The emergency exit from the cockpit?"

"Looks like."

"Just how much force did that thing explode with?"

"I could see the trees bend while we walked away."

"I swear, it's like he's building these things out of TNT sometimes..."

I looked up at the sun.

"Oh god, it's noon already!"

"WHAT?!"

"It's noon!"

"OH GOD WE'RE- Wait. Why are we in a hurry again?"

"Because all daylight is precious."

After a short convincing session, I packed up the shelter, and consulted the energy tracker.

"Well, it's still picking up the tower. And that mansion over there, too. We've checked both of those, so our next destination is..." I scanned the map. "...Here." I brought my finger down on a location just on the edge of the miraculous plot devi- er, amazing peice of machinery.

"Let's get going then!"

Piggybacking as usual, we reached our destination in minutes. The longest wait time yet. The ride was smooth, also a first.

"This is it?"

Bowen hopped off of my back, looking up at our new lead.

We had arrived at what appeared to be a large wall, obviously surrounding... something. What other purpose does a wall have?

"Well, we'd better find an-"

**CRACK**

Once again, Bowen had just punched the cause of his problems.

"...Entrance."

"Ohh... right. Entrance. Yeaah."

*sigh*

"No use in finding it now. Let's go."

We walked in, drawing even more attention to us than knocking a portion of the wall down did.

It appeared that we had walked in upon a town of average people performing average tasks. Grocery shopping, children playing, et cetera. Of course, our grand entrance had earned the attention and time of everyone present.

"...Hello? Sorry about the wall, I didn't think-"

"HALT, YOUKAI!"

Through the crowd came a pair of guards, each with a spear but not much protection.

"You have breached the walls of the human village, prepare to die."

They pointed the spears at us.

"Oi. Who says we're youkai?"

Spears lowered slightly, confused looks.

"But your hair... it's red. That can't be normal! You're-"

"Hair dye."

"You knocked down the wall!"

"Danmaku-enhanced physical ability."

"You wear outlandish clothing!"

"We're outsiders. Please, shut up. We're just looking for our friend."

"Why do you think he's here?"

"Because this thing says this place has some major source of energy somewhere in it, and he uses huge amounts of energy for what he does."

I held out the energy detector, showing it to them. It probably didn't mean much to someone from here, but...

"...Only outsiders have these kinds of things. We believe you."

Spears completely lowered, returned to standing position.

Everythingwentbetterthan- no dammit, brain get out of internet mode. I know that was an argument, but it wasn't that big...

"We apologize for the mistake."

"No, no, we should be apologizing for the wall..."

During this exchange that apparently bored him immensely, Bowen saw a newspaper on the ground.

"They have a newspaper in Gensokyo? Hell, I didn't know so much as a printing press existed here..."

Picking it up, he immediately noticed something very off.

"Ray... Come over here."

"What?" Turning away from the village guard, I was somewhat annoyed.

"Remember last night? Those flashes?"

"Yeah." Now, intrigued.

"They were photos."

"And you say that, because...?" Interest piqued.

Bowen handed him the newspaper.

On the front page, the headline, "Maniacs attempt to destroy Scarlet Devil Mansion!", along with a picture of the two of us on top of the airship.

"...Dammit."

Reading further, such innaccuracies such as "gigantic metal dragon" made it evident that whoever wrote this clearly either had no idea what they were talking about, or just wanted to sell a ton of papers.

"Whoever wrote this..." Bowen's tone took a quick change for the worse. "I SWEAR TO GOD..." He turned away, raising a fist. "...I WILL RIP OUT THEIR SPINE, KEEP THEIR HEAD ATTACHED AND USE IT AS A FLAIL TO OBLITERATE EVERYONE THEY EVER KNEW OR LOVED."

Zero to "destroy all life" in ten seconds. Get 'im while you can, folks.

"RAY!" Suddenly turning to me, I recoiled a bit, now intimidated by the sudden demeanor change. There was mad, and then there was "all keeping him from his goal shall lay in eternal blazing ruin" mad. This was the latter.

"Find out who wrote this." His eyes were literally glowing red. "Find out and take me to them."

"But shouldn't we be more concerned about why this village was one of the most powerful things in this area?"

"NO!" Random wisps of fire were forming and dissipating around his body as he began to grow impatient.

Taking a step away from the potential living bomb was probably the best idea that entered my mind that day.

"Excuse me." I attempted to gain the attention of a civilian. "...Excuse me, but do you know who wrote this article?" I held up the paper.

"Literally the fastest in Gensokyo, Aya Shameimaru. She usually exaggerates, though, so don't get too riled up just because she villainized you here." This statement was accompanied by a laid-back smile, so it seemed legitimate.

That's a relief. At least nobody took this seriously... Except Bowen.

"That's the problem, my friend is. And he doesn't let go of grudges until he has (i)personally(i) ripped out their skull and placed it on a trophy wall."

"Well, if it would calm him down, you should just stay here until she shows up tomorrow to deliver the next issue."

"Thanks!"

Returning to my friend who was now quite literally fuming, I told him as the villager had told me.

"Bowen, she'll be here tomorrow. The one who wrote this. You can fight her then, but for now we have to stay the night or camp nearby."

"Oh? Okay."

That was unexpected.

His eyes stopped their glowing, and the heat enveloping the area dissipated. As I watched, something hit me.

_Wait, Bowen's eyes were some shade of reddish-brown before, weren't they?_

"Bowen. Your eyes... They're red."

"Like when I got mad in the outside world?"

Bowen had this unique trait about him. His eyes normally had a deep chestnut shade about them.

However, back home, if he exerted himself or got angry enough, they would adopt a red glow much like the one they had now. We just thought of it as a side effect of the radiation caused by a lab accident on Luke's dad's part, like my sudden speed increase.

"...Yes. Exactly."

_I'll ask someone about that later._

"What do you think it means?"

"That you were linked to Gensokyo before you got here, somehow?"

"I seriously doubt that..."

"A month ago you doubted the existance of fairies even more."

We were broke, so an inn or something was completely out of the question.

Even further out of said question was going back to Hakurei Shrine, and broke at that. We might have been able to feed ourselves, but I doubt that would've been enough.

That said, our leaving the first safety we had had for weeks had some context.

Some.

"But couldn't we-"

"You already recommended selling fish." I deadpanned.

"What abo-"

"Let me guess; Youkai-fighting? Look, no matter how you put it, all your plans will backfire at some point. So, for the last time, we CANNOT AFFORD TO STAY IN THE VILLAGE."

Bowen hung his head, for the first time I've ever seen. He was actually disappointed.

No, wait. He'd still be walking if he was conscious.

"...Bowen?"

He returned to reality momentarily, snapping to attention.

"Whoooaaah..."

He shook his head a bit, twirling his slightly undone braids.

"What was that about?"

"I'unno." He shrugged. "Had this trippy vision."

"Chaos emeralds do that. It's what spawned your religion in the first place, remember? All it does is literally short out its holder's brain momentarily."

"Will it stop eventually?"

"After the first few, they'll get much less frequent and far less disturbing. You mind's just getting used to additional power flow."

Seconds blended into minutes. Those minutes, hours. Time passed slowly, along with the points of our discussions.

With night growing closer, and our point of stakeout decided, we set up about 30 feet from the village, our instant shelter thankfully not making enough noise to attract attention.

"You know what I don't get?"

"What?"

"Forests are supposed to be full of Youkai. We've been sleeping in and travelling through them for weeks now, and only found one or two."

"Eh. I can't say I don't blame them. Can't you feel energy too?"

Back when we first gained our danmaku, we had also apparently gained slightly heightened senses. It wasn't much, but if someone strong was standing in front of us, we'd know it.

"I don't think you can feel your own energy without trying.."

"Oh, right. Anyway, even from how little I can sense, you're just letting it fly, and tons at that. Maybe you've scared off all the youkai we'd have run into."

"That would only be true if they were all small fry. In a place like this, do you really think that could happen?"

"Yes."

Bowen's turn to facepalm, and unrightfully so.

Things cut to black for a second, then faded back to normal, bringing into view the still-lit and yet sunless sky.

_Whoah, am I time slipping? If that's possible, wonder what else..._

Accompanied by more fade-outs, stars began to show.

"GAH!" A searing pain in my side accompanied by a huge force came with the final flash.

"Nng..."

I looked at the spot, lifting my shirt to get a better view.

_No marks... But this pain can't be my imagination._

With a hand over the source of my pain, I walked into the shelter.

"Took you long enough."

Bowen was sitting on the edge of his bed, barely awake.

"What do you mean?"

"You were just standing there outside. Actually decided to try punching you a couple hours ago. You didn't budge."

"I just felt it now..."

Two seconds of a mutual awkward stare, then...

"...I'm not even going to question that. Now, we sleep."

I quickly got into bed, not bothering to remove my shoes or clothes and hastily drifted off.

_I wonder, if this place is truly a land where mythology is true..._

_Noise... there's a noise. And I can feel something cold... Wind? I closed the door. Am I dreaming?_

Opening my eyes, my newly-regained sense of sight dictated that I was in some kind of white void. No floor, no walls, simply floating.

"WAH!"

Lunging backward, I sent myself spiralling, reeling from the force of my midair maneuver.

_I didn't put any danmaku into that... where did the force come from?_

I tried it again, trying to push myself slowly forward, and the dream obliged, gracefully moving my body in my direction of choice.

"Uh..."

_"Re-e-b..."_

A new, raspy voice joined me, with no figure to match.

"What?"

_"Remember..."_

"Remember what?"

_"Remember... Roots..."_

"What are you saying, dammit?!"

_"Remember... Power... From roots..."_

_I have a power I don't know about?_

"What roots? What power?"

_"Rem... Power... Restore... Reawaken..."_

_"Remember your power. Restore it. Let it reawaken from your roots."_

"WHAT ROOTS, DAMMIT?! I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE!"

_"Not... entirely... true..."_

_This is getting more confusing by the second..._

Before I could pinch myself, something that appeared to be wisps of air began to collect in front of me.

_"Remember... me?"_

By the time the wind removed itself, a black-haired figure with matching black-and-white clothes stood before me. A kindly, yet sharp-featured face, atop a messily-tossed black haired head sat above a body garbed in black-and-white tradidional Japanese clothing.

The midieval equivalent, anyway.

"...I've seen you before. Aren't you..." I pondered the orgin of this figure. "An old ancestor of mine? Like, twenty-times-great grandfather or something?"

"Close."

The voice was less raspy, and more human now.

"How did you recognize me?"

"Old family paintings. Gramps used to say you were still alive by the time he was born. Hah, what a joker..."

"It was such a beautiful sight, even though I had seen it so many times before. The miracle of life never ceases to amaze me."

"...You... actually were? Alive for that long, I mean?"

"Of course! What did you think, that I was human? Oh wait, that might have been your great-great grandfather... but, it's close enough."

_Oh, FUCK. Is that where he's going?_

"...Are you a youkai?"

"No."

"What are you then? You look like one."

"I am a Tengu. We come in a few types, wolves and birds are among the most recognized, and as it turned out I was a crow."

"Does this mean I have the blood of a youkai?"

"A part of it, yes. This place has restored its energy, which is from what I can tell what allowed me to appear here in front of you."

"So, let me get this straight; you were long-lived, even for your species, and somehow managed to get your family line into the outside world, and because I came here, remnants of your blood in me began to take over with gathered floating residual energy, giving me some of your strength and ability."

"Abridged, that's about it, yeah."

"I'm part Tengu now?"

"Correct. Your spell cards and danmaku should match."

...Uh oh.

"...What happens if I already picked a danmaku?"

His calm, assuring expression faded.

"I'm not sure. You could get both, or your first one could disappear outright. One thing's for sure, mine is much more powerful than anything a newbie could pull off."

"So even if it does replace mine, learning a new strategy will be a small price to pay for better firepower."

"Well... There's always the chance yours matches mine. If it does, and their energies conflict too much, the resulting reaction will do too much damage to your spirit core, and you won't ever be able to use danmaku again."

"I assume there's a low chance of that."

"Right."

I felt a pulse run throughout the area, followed by a small rumbling.

"That's... Your time of full awakening is near. Wake up."

"What? I still have so much to ask you!"

"I'll be able to come back... I think. Don't worry. You have to wake up, now."

"Wait. What did you mean by "full awakening"?"

"When you come into contact with another Tengu, the blood should recognize its own type, and take over your body completely with energy stolen from the full Tengu. A small physical change will happen, plus my danmaku and a few of my spell cards will manifest themselves in you."

The rumble got closer much faster, now shaking the entire area visibly, somehow.

"Go. Now."

The wind began to gather around him again, and as I plummeted into the abyss, away from him, he dissipated.

"AH!"

I stood bolt-upright in my bed. It was just before the sun came up, and a dull greyish light flooded the outside. Bowen was still sleeping like a log.

"Well, at least I kept my stuff from last night on."

I jumped out of bed, searching for the cause of my imminent "full awakening".

"Hello? Is someone here?"

Instead of an answer, a huge gale blew through the area, in the direction of the village.

Walking outside, I immediately saw a winged figure suspending itself just above the height of the village's wall.

"OI!"

That seemed to get her attention.

She flew toward me at an alarming rate, stopping on a dime about 3 feet from me.

We took in each others' appearances for a few seconds. She has jet-black hair like me, reaching down to a spot just above her shoulders, and her eyes are red. Short, less-dark-black skirt, and white shirt. Surprisingly modernized for here.

"Aren't you one of the two who tried to destroy the Scarlet Devil Mansion a few days ago? Where's your friend?" She produced a notepad and pen, apparently ready to write down everything I said and then some.

"First of all, we didn't try to destroy it. We stole and destroyed the object TRYING to destroy it. And Bowen's inside our house."

_If you could call it that..._

"House? But you just got here!"

"It's not technically a house yet. And how did you know I just came to Gensokyo?"

"You can't keep any facts from me!" Vigorous smile, slightly-changed pose to match. Enthusiasm must be a shared trait among the race.

"Well then, you got quite a bit wrong in that article you wrote about us."

"But you were riding a giant metal dragon that had just dropped explosives on the Scarlet Devil Mansion! What was I supposed to think?"

"How about "Let's go ask them what they're doing before PUBLICLY VILLAINIZING THEM"?"

This was neither of us. From within our small white hut, Bowen stepped out.

"Oh, right. This guy here is my friend Bowen, and he ALWAYS wants someone dead. Right now, it's you, so it's probably a good idea to run."

The anger-indicating wisps of fire had returned, this time forming strictly on the ground around his feet.

"No, I don't want you dead. I have one request; A spell card battle."

"What?"

"A spell card battle. I win, you write a recall of your previous statements about us, you win, you can write whatever you want. If THAT was a front-page story, then you'll need a more important place to put articles with us around."

"That idea makes even less sense now than before. This is someone who has been doing this for YEARS. You won't stand a chance, Bowen."

"Well, how can I know I won't if I don't try?"

"Because brute force isn't always the answer."

"If my idea is SO terrible, then what do you recommend?"

"I have an idea. Supposedly, the woman standing before us is one of the fastest beings in Gensokyo. Considering what I can do..."

"You did NOT just recommend a race."

"I did. Well, race-fight."

"Are you two done yet? I have newspapers to deliver."

"Not quite. How would you be open to a race?"

She stood there for a good ten seconds. Then...

"...snrk... HAHAHAHAAA!" Broke out into an uncontrollable laugh.

"I'm serious."

"That's... AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA... even more- HAH... insane. HAHAHAHAHAHAA..."

"I said I'm serious."

"...Getting cocky now, are we? ...snrk..." Expression toned down from "wide grin" to "large smirk".

"It's not quite just a race, really. More a fight."

"...I'm listening." Look of interest. Smirk lessened.

_Eyes never lie, full speed ahead!_

"Well, I was thinking something like this: We attempt to beat each other, one spell card each, no speed limit in place. Move as fast as you want. Tiring out also means losing, and no other rules are in place. Any spell card you want."

"And you think if all else fails I'll tire out first?"

"Nah, I just threw that in there so the fight wouldn't last more than a week."

"You're getting cocky, human."

"Well? Yes or no?"

"...Yes."

_Come on, master plan, don't fail me now! Not you either, luck, you're working overtime too!_

"Alright! Want to shake on it?"

I held out my hand.

"...I'm not sure what you mean by this."

"Look, you grab it with the hand that will make our palms connect, and shake it."

"That's certainly an odd way to agree on things."

"Wait until you see spelling and pronunciation."

She took it, severely overdoing the "shake" part, but pleasantly enough enough not blasting my hand off.

_This had better work... I won't have any spell cards if it doesn't._

"Come on! Let's do it already!"

"Just a minute..."

_I... Feel lighter. Is this the transformation?_

I tried to summon my danmaku, bringing it to the tips of my fingers. I got the exact same lightning as always.

_What? Did I really overpower a decades-old, ultra-powerful Tengu with a danmaku I thought up two weeks ago?_

_No... there is something. I can feel it. Power is gathering somewhere else. It's not in the center of my stomach, it's... higher. Near my center of balance. Let's try summoning it from there, now..._

I closed my eyes, returning to the depths of my spirit.

_I was right... there is something else. I can see it._

Bringing my consciousness over to the new orb of light was a bit of trouble, but I somehow managed it. Its aura was a very bright bluish green, just on the edge of white.

_Well then... Let's try it._

This energy core was more than willing to co-operate, instantly responding to the simple commands I issued to test it. _Well, it WAS already a danmaku..._

I stretched over what we had designated as the starting line (a charred line of grass courtesy of the resident pyromaniac/slap-happy moron).

"Right, let's go over the rules one more time. One spell card each, no speed limit, first to tire out or lose ability to fight wins, rest is standard spell card battle ruleset. We start on "go", and have to run forward 50 feet from the starting line before attacking."

Bowen stood to my left, a single hand raised into a finger-gun orientation, pointing straight upward.

"Rules understood. Can we get going?" She actually seemed to be anticipating the battle.

"3..."

I bent down, resting with one foot behind me and the other just in front, the knee attaching it to my body bent in preparation. Both my hands were on the ground, just in front of my forward leg.

"2..."

Closed my eyes, lowered my head.

_Don't fail me now..._

"1..."

I looked over at my opponent. Her eyes are absolutely gleaming.

_Stay focused._ I brought my eyes to the front, ready for whatever this terrain was going to throw at me.

"GO!"

The mad dash began.

* * *

**So, you guys, am I improving?**

**REVIEW DAMMIT**

**Anyway, even though Ray, Bowen, and (eventually) Luke were only meant to be references to Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails, it wound up getting more out of hand than that...**

**See which attributes of theirs are accidental references and/or similarities.**


	9. Chapter 9: Faster than a speeding bullet

**So many fanfics give their otherwise well-developed characters a billion different abilities, one way or another. What do I think? Leave that to the gods.**

**That said...**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Faster than a speeding bullet**

Blowing forward, both of us launched ourselves from the starting line at once. A visible trail of wind followed my opponent while a glowing aura of thunder was left in my wake, brightening the early-morning forest.

Aya was apparently far faster than I was currently, at least 10 feet and counting ahead of me. Of course, I hadn't even used my danmaku externally yet, and proceeded to do so.

With it, an ear-shattering noise filled the area, while my sudden speed increase brought me right up to my opponent in a split second. Just in time for us both to hit 50 feet, and her to launch the first blow

A simple wave of bullets in a fan shape to match the weapon she had launched it with was suddenly before me, luckily with just enough room under it to slide through.

"Whoah!"

A sudden outcrop of rocks from the ground put some distance between us as we avoided it.

_Perfect._

With a new burst of power, I got a few feet ahead and took a low hop, planting my feet squarely on the side of a tree, and returned to the air a split second later, performing a danmaku-charged spinning flip in my opponents' trajectory.

"It's not that easy!"

She stopped instantly once more, letting my attack pass her by, then sent even more danmaku my way, more basic shots.

"Don't-" I quickly jerked to my left. "-you-" I jumped over one. "-have-" I slid under another. "-anything-" I twisted right, barely avoiding the last in the pack. "-stronger?"

"But we can only use one spell card." She swung her fan, sending a whirlwind in my direction.

"I didn't say anything about skill cards." I jumped ever so slightly to the left of the vortex, slingshotting around it and into my opponent.

"Are you trying to make this harder for yourself?" She ducked this as she talked, her mouth telling me she wouldn't have it. Her eyes, though...

I turned around to face her, beginning to run backwards. "Exactly. Neither of us has hit each other yet, and I don't feel tired at all. We'll take all day at this rate."

"If you say so!" A card appeared in her hand, between her middle-and-forefingers. _Seriously, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!_

"That's more like it!" I picked up speed, preparing for a new tactic by giving myself time to read it.

"Domination Dash!" She held it up as it dissipated. Soon after, she began to fly after me with renewed speed, a more solid trail of wind behind her.

Slowing down a bit, I returned to her level before attempting to simply ram her from the side in a sheer test of strength.

For a few seconds, the energy mixed and collided, preventing any actual contact but resisting the opponent nonetheless.

Then, with an almost metallic sound, we were forced apart by a burst of energy. It sent Aya reeling back, more from unexpected momentum than shock.

I took the opportunity to come to a sudden halt, waiting until my opponent was barely behind me. Then, I took a high spin jump, making a direct hit.

"Finally!" The hit sent her spinning through the air, barely returning to control before I jumped once more, this time using boost rather than my typical spin attack energy.

"Don't expect to get so lucky twice!" She flew up slightly, kicking my back straight downward as I came to her previous location.

_There wasn't as much force behind that one as the first, but there's still plenty... I doubt she'll be reckless enough to use a spell card at this point._

"Let's try this again!"

I attempted to ram her a few more times, this time with Aya doing the same. Knockback was instantaneous this time, but no other differences.

"Bored as hell. You?" I sent out a few lightning bolts, not hoping to do damage but hoping she thought they would.

"Yup." _ Damn. She ran right through them. So much for bluffing._

"Want to end this quickly?"

"I thought you'd never ask! How so?" She flew up for a bit, then went into a spinning dive-bomb.

"We both just use our spell cards at the same time and see who overpowers who." I rolled under, swinging from that to a flip as I took another shot at jumping into her. To no avail.

"It's not exactly complex, but it sounds reasonable enough."

_I didn't think I'd be able to come up with a spell card to use both of my energy cores so fast... or that it would be so simple._

"Let's go then!" I took a flying leap, landing gracefully about 100 feet away from my launch point, on one side of a clearing. Aya followed suit, bringing herself down on the opposite end.

She held up another card, this one's border gold. Definitely a spell card.

"Squall: Sarukahito's guidance!" She went into a pose that telegraphed a whopping tackle. _Alright, I definitely played too many video games back as a kid if I can read attacks that easy._

"Storm sign: Vortex charge!" Without a card, because this was a new one, I got down into a sprint-ready position in a split second as an airy blue aura began blasting out of me.

The air calmed. No movement, no sound, nothing. All of the world seemed to be focusing on us. Not even the field we were in, just... us.

Then, she charged.

I only let her go first so we could collide in the middle.

A pure white trail followed me as I caused a sonic boom at launch, my charge meeting Aya's at the center of the field in a split second. The sound of the impact rattled the field... and then we were head-to-head. Literally. My trail had gone in front of me, turning blue in the process.

Her wind had done something similar, and as if reacting to my energy, turned red in perfect contrast. Our auras were flying out behind us, dwarfing us in size as they changed shade in sharp, fast waves. Our legs were moving, but our bodies weren't. We were pushing against each other with equal force.

Then, the balance of power shifted.

_More power._

She was pushing me back, draining me to the point that I could FEEL it.

_MORE._

We leveled out, our power matching.

_Full power. NOW._

I swore I could almost make out a look of equal parts confusion and struggle as my danmaku complied, pumping every ounce of power it could into moving forward.

Then... In one final jolt, it all came at once. The energy felt like a solid object forcing itself through my body from my stomach, but it was worth it. My aura receded into me for a split second.

An instant later, a perfect beam of blue propelled me to speeds that I couldn't even reach when I WASN'T slowed down. In that single, insignificant moment, all of my energy flew out of me and I used its force to ram my opponent.

I came to a perfect stop across the field from where I began my charge. Turning around, I saw gensokyo's fastest reporter spiralling through the sky, coming to a momentary halt, and then violently coming to rest just left of me. Completely knocked out, of course.

"Oh, sh-"

I fainted too.

(POV switch: Third person in a large, otherwise featureless hall, decorated with many unique gates and doorways that appeared to have nothing behind them with light gray floors and walls. Light permeates the area, but no source is visible.)

"...One. Explain this." A small wisp of a lighter gray than the surroundings hovered near one such gate, a red torii with waving, branching, spiralling blue lines stretching over it.

"That? I made it." A different floating flame of an almost skin-toned shade floated close by, its slow bobbing movement occasionally interrupted by small shivers. Its voice matched that of the first.

"It's giving off a dangerous combination of energies. What paramaters did you set for it?"

"Paramaters?"

"You didn't set any limits for how it's created? This is bad, but I still wonder how it turned out..."

"You said something about dangerous energies?"

"Oh, right... Well, six told me his machines were sensing both chaos and spirit energy seeping out of the place. Chaos energy is specific to one universe, but judging by the gate, it only took sources of it, not the planet as a whole. Several subjects were spiritually passed on as well, and trace amounts of other miscellaneous universes were found."

"So what's the actual main planet?"

"Earth. Well, Earth duplicate. Not the same as earth 00-02-E."

"And which Earth IS it?"

"Because more than two alternate dimensions exist within it, we can immediately assume that it is Earth 11-01-T."

"So, I created a universe that has an earth that both followed all the lore of Mobius along with some others mixed in, but using humans, and with gensokyo on it as well."

"Pretty much it in a nutshell. When did you create it?"

"'couple hours ago... but it's progressed a few thousand years in there already. The important spiritual successors were only going to be born past 1900 A.D., so I just skipped forward until then. 's 2025 now. Want to watch Sonic's reincarnation?"

"Eh, maybe later."

"But he's about to get taken to Gensokyo for the first time~"

"I said later. Why do you pay any heed to time? We're technically god, remember. Just rewind it if you want."

"But it's so much more fun to watch the present!"

"There's no such thing as the present to a time traveller."

A ring of runic symbols began to appear around the silver flame.

"Oh, wait, seven. There still isn't an antagonist."

"What? How in high hell did you manage that?"

The circle disappeared.

"Eggman didn't get reincarnated."

"Oh, for fuck's- Do you want me to destroy this universe?"

"NO!"

"Fine, then just pick any manipulative, powerful type, send their Tails to land near them when they're first taken, and you'll be set. But don't use Yukari unless absolutely necessary."

"Aaaaw, but-"

"NO BUTS."

"Why are you even letting this place be? You said it was dangerous."

"For once, I'm trying to be like you. Two said I needed to loosen up, have some fun every once in a while. But if they ask, I'm as rigid as ever."

"Got it."

"NOW can I leave? The airbornes are fighting over turf again, and I don't want to miss it."

"Who's giving me a lesson on caring about the time stream again? But seriously, that look is really wierd to living beings. Pick something less... spiritual-ish before you go."

"If you insist."

White lines began to expand from the silver flame, filling with color to take the shape of a suited man. Silver, calm eyes, smooth skin, hair that, as he'd been told, was darker than night itself, and clothed in a simple blue suit, a tie to match his eyes, with gray pants of a darker shade than the walls.

"Close enough. At least they'll recognize you."

With that, a red set of four lines appeared above "Seven" as he dissolved into particles. A white light manifested in the center of the square red frame, and the particles entered. With that, it all disappeared.

(POV switch: Bowen, after the fight)

_And I thought I was reckless._

I was walking along with Ray and Aya in tow, each held over one shoulder by their legs.

"Well, it must have taken all of his strength..." I looked over at the unconscious runner. "...but he got revenge for me. Still not quite as satisfying, but I can just work that out."

After the battle, which had taken all of seven minutes, they spent a few hours unconscious. It took me about 3 more to find them. I was smart enough to pack the house during the fight, so I had just set it up on the spot.

"One thing still bothers me, though... Where did Ray get the second part of that spell card? Thunder was a given, but wind? That sounds like Aya, not him."

I shrugged it off. This was gensokyo, after all. I had seen crazier.

Setting Ray down on the bed that was nonverbally claimed by him, I hesitated for a second in throwing the cause of our current troubles out the door.

_What do I do with her?_

_Well, she's unconscious..._ I eyed her tenatively. _Fuck, fuck. No, brain. Stop. Fuck. Wrong. NO. _I brought my fist to my head several times.

"Well... eh, I don't need a bed. This had better be worth it."

I chose to set her down on what's usually my bed.

_Now where do I sleep? The floor?_

"Ah, to hell with it. At least it's carpeted."

Turning off the light, I lowered myself to the floor at the foot of Ray's bed, bracing myself for the worst sleep I'd have in days.

(Time passes, it's morning now. I'm not writing some clever transition for it anymore, it gets hard to be original)

(POV switch: Ray)

"Oh, *god*. My head is KILLING me..."

My body worked in an uncharacteristically sluggish manner, turning to get up.

"Well, can't feel anything else. No bones broken, no bruises..."

I looked over myself from my sitting position on the side of the bed. Lift left leg, lift right. No problems there. Wiggle fingers. Same as always. Arms? Weak as ever. I was in surprisingly acceptable condition, for the fight I had been through.

My blue jacket seemed unscathed, apart from the expected occasional tear from too close a graze. Black sweatpants have their waistband intact, the anklebands not so much. Still no big deal.

Glancing at Bowen's bed, I saw a mass of blankets.

_Must've covered his head... wonder if I was sleep talking or something._

Lowering my feet to the ground, I walked over to the bizarre combination of a cot and a normal bed.

"Bowen. Come on, time to get up." The bed's occupant stirred.

"Wake up, come on." I raised the blanket.

Bowen wasn't there.

"Uwah!"

I fell over backwards. _What is she doing here?! _ Instead of my companion, the one I had seen sleeping in his bed was yesterday's opponent.

From my new vantage point on the floor, I saw Bowen sleeping in the fetal position at the foot of my bed.

_How did I miss that? And why did he bring Aya here, if he hated her so much?_

"Eh... Where am I?"

_Oh, she's waking up._

"Uh... hi?"

The blanket flew to the ceiling, and she fired multiple bullets at me, each thankfully missing.

"Whoah, calm down. No, I'm not sure why you're here either, before you ask, and no, nobody raped you in your sleep. Just so you don't murder either of us."

She calmed down, assuming a sitting position without her legs leaving the bed's surface.

"The question still stands where I am though."

"No, it doesn't. This is our house... I guess. It isn't much, but we sleep here."

She studied the featureless home, eyes snapping from place to place, all without moving her head.

"Well, I'd better go now. Yesterday's paper never got delivered, and I didn't report at all then either. There won't be any stories for tomorrow if I don't hurry!"

And she leapt off the bed, straight into the door.

"It's still locked, and he must have the key." I gestured to the only one of us still asleep. "Last time anyone tried to take something of his in this sort of situation, they were never heard from again. Since you rely on open space to fight, you'd be roasted right quick in here. Just wait it out."

"Well couldn't we blow it open?"

"No matter how much force they explode with, Luke's machines are incredibly sturdy. Not a chance of that happening."

"Luke?"

"Oh, right. Long story short, Bowen and I were dropped in here near Hakurei shrine, but our third friend and the reason we're in here, Luke, is god knows where. He builds complicated machinery and technology, like this place."

"But it's just a small metal house..."

"When deactivated, it fits in the palm of your hand in a small cube shape."

"How did he manage that?" She had her notebook out, poised to write.

"Well, once upon a time, he was doing an early experiment on rift energy. This was the first time he had acquired a chaos emerald-" I held up my emerald fragment. "-as a fuel source. When he ran the machine, it overloaded, and the resulting excess energy created a few alternate dimensions. He's figured out how to make portals to them. Perfect for storage space, but not safe for living beings to travel through unless they have a fair-sized source of neutral chaos energy on them."

"So, the machine's parts are stored in another dimension when it's not on, but when it is, it takes them out and makes this out of them?" She stopped writing a second, having turned to a new page at least four times.

"Yes. By the way, why doesn't the concept of machinery in itself not phase you?" The amount of writing she was doing honestly worried me a little.

"The kappa do stuff like this too. And we sometimes get random things dropped in from the outside world."

"Ah."

"Anyway, was the 'airship' also something of his?"

"Yes. We're not sure why it tried to destroy that mansion though."

"Is it a possibility that he's still making things?"

"More than a possibility. He's definitely still in business."

"Do you mind if I follow you two in case anything else interesting happens? Outsiders make great scoop bait."

"While that title offends me, no, I don't mind. Bowen probably does though."

"No, I don't mind." _Speak of the devil..._

I snapped around to find bowen standing behind me. "How long have you been awake?"

"Just got up. Why?" Tension. Rising.

"Uh... No reason. Anyway, are you sure? Didn't you want Aya dead about 12 hours ago?"

"About 12 hours ago, yes. Now, not so much."

This was both confusing and relieving, but I had stopped questioning events like this a few days ago.

(AN: You know what? Fuck making a seamless story. I'm cutting mundane discussion and bland descriptions up until the point everything's packed up and I can MOVE THE PLOT ALONG.)

"Are you sure you want to stay with us?"

"Well, I won't be there all the time. I have to do the actual writing too." She was beaming, most likely over her recent gain of a steady source of news.

"Leave whenever you want. Just please stay out of our fights."

"Fine."

"Wait a minute. Can I see your notes on the instant shelter for a minute? You wrote more words than I remember saying." Aya looked a little shocked, but eventually turned the notepad over.

"Why is it written in Japanese? You're speaking fluent English right now, why not write that?"

"What are you talking about? "Eeng-rish"? I'm speaking Japanese. So are you!"

"I've never spoken or understood Japanese in all my life. Shouldn't we just shrug this kind of thing off? We're in a world of fantasy, here."

"No! You're speaking the same language as me without even knowing it, there has to be something interesting behind that!" Her reporter's spirit is the dominant trait in her personality. I can really see her as the inquisitive child type.

"Wait, Ray... What exactly did those brain implants Luke gave us a few years ago do?" We had been Luke's favorite lab rats for quite some time, looking back. And since nobody ever died, we didn't object to it.

"Nothing like this."

"So, back to square one."

"Not necessarily. Aya, do you know anyone in Gensokyo who could mess with sound, minds, or both?"

"Well, there's Yukari... actually, that seems like the only possibility here. You're both speaking Japanese and hearing "Eeng-rish", whatever that is, and the only person here with either of those powers that even knows of you is her."

"So, she made our minds automatic translators without us ever feeling like we're not speaking English?"

"It seems like the only possibility."

"Once more, my complete disregard to all punches in the face logic is receiving comes in handy."

"Oi, you two. Plan on moving anytime soon? YOU'RE supposed to be the impatient one, Ray."

"Alright, alright. I think I can still run, but it sure won't be too fast for now. At least tell me our next goal is close..."

"Yes. The village is out of the question, because Luke wouldn't have gone unseen by us even if he tried to in such a small place. The next destination is about 3 miles in the opposite direction."

"Well, let's get going then!" Aya began to fly, eventually stopping a few feet above the tree line.

"OI. We can't fly. How about you get down here, and we explain how this has worked for us."

"You can't fly? How were you even getting around?" She began lowering herself.

"I just said we'd explain it." She reached the ground.

"So, how?"

"Well, it's just sort of been Bowen piggybacking me while I cruised. But with you here, that might be a problem."

"How so?"

"I don't think I can actually CARRY two people. That, and there's no more room on my back with Bowen there."

"What if I carried my own weight while on his back? You wouldn't feel a thing."

"Good idea! Alright, Bowen, you get on first."

He hopped on, quickly attaching himself to me.

"Now you, Aya."

She floated just above my rider, grabbing him tightly by the shoulders but remaining airborne.

"Ready? Again, not top speed, but this will still be pretty fast."

My two companions nodded in unison.

"Hold on tight!" I drew back...

_GO!_ And then I flew forward. It was only cruising speed, but it was better than a car.

I weaved through the trees, across the rolling hills, this time taking in the scenery rather than blowing through it.

_Never thought a place like this existed in a time like now._

This feeling of content was short lived, as we soon arrived at the mouth of what appeared to be a tunnel, embedded in a cliff.

"Well, this must be the place."

"Considering previous events, this is labyrinth, mystic cave, or hydrocity. Any bets?"

This earned a confused look from Aya, but an understanding one from Bowen.

"We can only hope to chaos it isn't the first."

Venturing inside, Bowen lit a small flame in his palm. Using the light source, we eventually reached a point at which the cave branched in 2 directions.

He pulled out the energy tracker, checking for directions.

"No use, guys. This place's chaos signature is constant, and everywhere."

"Well then. Bowen, you take that one on the left, and I'll take Aya through this one. If it turns out that our side has nothing important at the end of it, we'll come back here and go through yours."

"Why do I go alone?"

"Because."

Bowen opened his mouth to speak.

"THAT IS FINAL."

Mouth closed.

I took out my emerald fragment.

"What do you plan to do with that?" Aya was inquiring this time.

"Something pretty much everyone learned how to do at a young age in my town. Every thing in existence has a small amount of chaos energy flowing through it. There are three types; Positive, which flows through most living things, Neutral, which is in everything from rocks to stars, and Negative, which fuels and is fueled by evil hearts. Anyone can funnel their natural chaos energy through an emerald to do all sorts of things, but I'm going to use it for light."

"You could have just said "for a light"."

"But we needed exposition."

"Exposition?"

Six white lines faded into the wall next to us, extending to touch each other at one end. Flowing white energy filled the hexagon, and a small human, looking to be a child, poked his head out.

"Fourth wall is my turf. If you value the fact that you are not in the specially created fifty-third circle of hell, don't break it." After its mildly-disturbing warning, the white hexagon and the figure attached turned into an energy matching the inside of it, and contracted into nothing.

"Who was that?" Me and Bowen spoke at once.

"Never seen him..."

"Want to write it off as "Gensokyo"?"

"Sure."

With that, we went our separate ways.

* * *

**Know what I hate about so many OC-centric fanfics? Yukari is never in character.**

**She's always popping in to rattle on about the fourth wall whenever it's broken or ferrying the hero where he needs to go. Whatever happened to "lazy"? Or even just "doesn't give two shits about what an outsider is doing"?**

**Seriously guys, Yukari is not a taxi or comic relief. She is a half-serious, somewhat lazy, and omnipotent being who pulls strings behind the scenes to indirectly affect peoples' courses of action.**

**Also, for the sake of the story, we won't be cutting here and there to watch her actions either, we'll only see their effects and have it revealed exactly what it was she did later, like at the end of each arc or some midway point.**

**One more OC in here. Actually originally thought up as *shudder* a sonic character. Then a lot of things happened. He eventually became a being of absolutely godlike power who is only imperfect due to self-imposed disabilities and problems. But hey, everyone's gotta have some excuse for crossovers right?**


End file.
